not sure about new man

[singleandfabulous]

Can anyone help me decode the new man I'm seeing?

Been single for three years (not even a date during that time) but have now met a man I really like who makes me laugh and is gorgeous. I haven't fancied anyone this much for about ten years.

Got to know him by looking at a buy to let property at the beginning of the month and it was pretty obvious from the start that there was chemistry between us.

After the second meeting, he gave me his mobile number and said to get in touch if I had any questions so I did and it went from there. We've met up three times now, twice for a drink and on Wednesday night he called into mine on his way home from work with something to do with the property letting business.

Up until this point, he had been very chatty and flirty, touching my arm and hugging me hello and goodbye and generally being charming and telling me how wonderful I was.

Wednesday night was different though. We had a drink and a chat and kissed on the sofa but he really didn't seem bothered as he doesn't seem interested in me (didn't ask me any questions) or flirt and kept looking at his watch but showed no sign of wanting to leave. I initiated all conversation and the kiss. We kissed for a while and he tried to do more but I stopped him. He did say he'd like to see me again but I don't know.

I suppose I just feel like I could be making a mistake and that he's just after one thing. He's a lot younger than me - 36 and single. He told me that he's got problems with his ex and his child as they split up last year and he's back with his parents now and I understand that the split was not at all amicable and his ex is very hostile towards him which worries me.

I feel like the connection that we had early on has gone and it's gone a bit flat iykwim.

I really want the 'old' him back not this 'new' version who is a bit too quiet and dispassionate. It all felt like going through the motions with no connection.

Anyway I'm rambling. Anyone have any ideas if I'm being taken advantage of?

I don't have great judgement when it comes to men and seem to attract the no-hopers. I'm hoping he isn't one of those but who knows. Am I wrong for trying to take it slow?

Wow you're spending a lot of time and energy analysing him! Do you think he thinking about you in such depth?

I'd steer clear OP if you're letting him have so much of your headspace after seeing him 3 times what will you be like after 3 months, you might drive yourself crazy trying to work him out!

Pinky yes I am but to be fair, he is texting me all day every day too. It's very flattering but I'm wary.

I'm the non-committal type so don't think I'll be looking for anything long-term with him but I'd just like to know what's going on that's all.

The more I read, the more I'm struggling to understand the context of what's going on here so can understand if OP's a bit confused too!
When did you last hear from him? He's texting all day but I thought you said he hasn't since you saw him on Wednesday?

You don't sound the non committal type!

What Cabrinha said ^^

Yes which is it Op, is he texting you all day or everyday or have you not heard from him since Wednesday?

Texting all day is hardly ' flattering' , love bombing is a well known abusers technique. Do you tell each other what you're up to all day? What will it be like if you can't get hold of each other, will you be worried? I still reckon he just wants sex. It sounds like a lot of drama to me.

Women like us will put up with any old shit from a man and then build a fantasy around it to make it bearable. However, it seems you had enough self awareness to realise he had no interest in you as a human being. You don't like how that made you feel. I think you know you need to get rid and find someone who thinks you're awesome instead, don't you?

He texted Friday afternoon and evening, nothing on Saturday and then all day sunday.

Thanks everyone. I conclude that yes, he's probably just after sex and I'm not top of his priorities but I'm 'there' and 'available' so he's keeping me 'warm.' It's such a shame because I fancy the pants off him oh well.

I need to get out more don't I!