A pizza has left out trust in tatters

[isthismylife88]

So it all started when I went shopping and bought 3 pizzas on Thursday, that night my partner was working nights so I ate one. I went out with a couple of friends on Fridays night ( which is rare ) I came home at 12 looking forward to putting a pizza in the oven.
However on opening the freezer the two pizzas that had been in there had gone. I looked next to the sink and there was 2 pizzas with what looked like pizza oil and crumbs. I assumed my partner had eaten 2 full pizzas after our Sunday type lunch at 5.30.
As he was asleep I sent him a message on Facebook saying I can't believe you ate 2 pizzas in the hope I would be getting a lie in.

At midday on Saturday I asked him had he seen my message. He said he only had one and that it was probably still in the freezer ether I hadn't looked properly or had only bought 2 on Thursday instead of three but could give no explanation why there had been two plates.

On getting home I searched the freezer, he asked me if I had found the pizza to which I replied no he stuck to his story but I was so sure I have put 3 in there and how could he have possibly eaten 2 after a large meal.

I went on to check the recipe and recycle bin which both confined he was lying to me. I rang my sister to check I wasn't going mad.

My worst fears came into play
He's had someone round. I had always told my friends if I didn't trust he so much he could be having an affaire.
He leave for work 1 hour and 40 minutes early for work to pick up a college Iv never met he feel me the earlier they start to earlier the get away. Now and the he arrives home and hour late and tells me his mate at work slept in so they were late swopping shifts.
He randomly tells me he has to pop out for 10 minute to his second job and comes back half an hour late

He never wants sex we have it once a month

We have 2 kids a house and 8 years together but still no ring.

I decided to confront him on Saturday night I told him I had found the pizza boxes in the bin and the receipt. He stuck by his story getting very annoyed with me. "Why would I eat a margarita I don't even like them, how could I possibly eat two after dinner and if I had why would I just tell you" he then when on to accuse me of been nut " your off your head" and saying some quite nasty things. I asked him had some else's been in the house with you to which he reply what with the kid in the house.

I wanted to believe him, he was speaking as if he would if he was telling the truth but I had evidence.

I went to bed upset

On Sunday afternoon I made some comment about us having a pizza thief who likes to recycle. He laughs and told me he had in fact eaten the pizza and it was a joke.

I'm very confused do I believe him? can I really trust him? Was he embarrassed? He lied in the same way he tells the truth how will I even know when he is lying?

He doesn't sound like a catch and you don't sound happy with him. Why do you want to get married to him when you have to almost beg for sex?

Who forgets being Engaged?

He could have said he was very hungry but made you out to be a lunatic instead.

I think he goes to have sex with a woman in the mornings. Plant a VAR in his car to see who he talks to. That's a voice activated recorder. Amazon sell them.

Do you see his phone bill?
Do you know the friend's name?

If you are at the point when you think planting a voice activated recorder to check on your partner is a good idea, then it really is time to end your relationship.

I still don´t think the "red flags" are very red, tbh. But you and he sound incompatible.

You think he invited another woman round to eat your pizzas?

Do you suspect the other woman is in fact another man (i.e. the one he takes to work)?

Could explain why you've had to pester him for sex for the lat 5 years.

I wouldn't dismiss having an OW to the house as being too high risk. I once discovered I was the OW...before that point I'd been to his home and had sex on the couch while his DC were upstairs asleep. I'd been told it was his contact weekend with his DC and his ex had gone away for the night and said it was fine to keep the kids at home. He'd even said she knew about me. We had food too. The only assurance he needed in order to have me there was that his wife wouldn't be back before he got me out. After that, he was quite careless and the carelessness got him caught.

Whether or not he's having an affair though OP, the gaslighting is disgusting. It doesn't sound like a joke at all. Does he binge eat? I do and my embarrassment over it may lead me to lie if I weren't so good at getting rid of the evidence. The thing is, he's either lied because the two plates shows there were two people or because the two plates proves he decided he was going to eat two whole pizzas to himself after he'd already had his evening meal and was so sure he'd eat them both that he cooked them at the same time.

The getting to work thing...have you ever questioned why he was picking up a colleague when it added 70minutes to his journey?

Could he be binge eating/bulimic? Does he 'pop out' after meals? If he was going to have an affair surely he would meet the OW somewhere else rather than his own home where he could be found out?

I'm sorry but for all the people saying why are you together we are together because we get on well, we have a laugh, he's good at doing jobs round the house, if he knows I'm totally exhausted he will stay up an extra hour after a night shift, he works hard so I can stay at home with the kids and do a part time job. most importantly we hardy argue and we are great at been mummy and daddy. We are not head over heels can't be with out each other kind of love.

Iv been in a madly in love relationship it isn't realistic!
He told me how crazy he was about me, he loved me more than any thing in the world, couldn't live with out me, alway made me feel good and told me he want children with me.
He also told me he had slit up from his wife but was still living in the family home for the children and they had an agreement to see other people.
Yes, u guessed it, she had no idea. When she found out he dropped me like a tone of bricks and ran back to his wife. I was left heart broken, lied to, I felt like a home wrecking horr. My current partner stood by me as a friend and helped pick up the pieces.
I'm surprised it's taken me so long to doubt my partner after been lied to in the past.

I defo don't want to plant any devices

Binge eating is a strong possibility