Is this narcissistic behaviour?

[coco1810]

Since DC1 had their first birthday many moons ago, DP mom has tried to out do us on every birthday. She even tried to buy 1st birthday decorations because she didn't think it would be something we would think off (really?!?).

It got to the point where we just couldn't tell her what we are buying for birthday/christmas because she would always try and go one better. For example, this year we brought DC a tablet each for big Christmas present. She looked furious.

Its our dogs birthday next week. Kids have been telling her about their plans for the dog. She's just arrived with a bag of presents for the dog so "she doesn't feel left out". Her not the dog. Cant wrap my head around this behaviour. Any ideas?

She's a grandparent. That's what they do. They love to spoil their grandchildren.

That's not narcissistic behaviour. Slightly ott, but that's all. Fob off really expensive purchases on to her - you'll be glad of it when they want several hundred pounds worth of games consoles!

I hear you OP my MIL is the same its all about the show and her being the centre of attention bestowing gifts on everyone. Me and DP just eye roll now and let her get on with it though don't discuss any plans with her beforehand.

I always buy my mum's cats Christmas presents!

I think narcissistic here. My mother did this too. She always bought DD a birthday cake, knowing we would be buying one too. There were only 5 of us to eat 2 cakes yuk! I just learned to accept she would be in competition with us.

If this is the only thing she does, I'd just laugh it off. Make it a running joke within the family.

I would also lie about my plans, pretend you are buying DD a bike and maybe she will buy you a car.

Insecure, jealous, needy, inconsiderate maybe but I don't think we could conclude narcissistic based on what you have told us. She sounds as if she thinks she needs to buy love, as if she doesn't trust it will come to her if she isn't the best, most generous, giving granny ever.

There are other things too but I don't want to go into them here. Just find it weird to step up the competition over a dog!