Hi All
I'm in a very confusing situation, I've been with my gf for 2 years now and after 8 months it started to go down hill the more we were commiting to eachother. As we got more comfortable around eachother I started to learn that she was very very insecure about lots of things. She checks if i still love her regularly by asking me (i tell her every single day i do but she keeps checking to the point its getting irritating being asked constantly which i told her - led to an argument)... If i dont hold her hand then she asks etc... We had a major fall out about 5 months ago and I broke up with her as she was driving me crazy with her insecurity, we were arguing every week, she would annoy me and I would do something to annoy her both not intentially.
I said I wanted time apart cause it was all too much, I'm very independent i like my own space and i like my own things, I'm happy to commit and share things and experiences but she is the opposite, she's very dependent on me and I hate I feel incredibly uncomfortable being her entire life. Me, I have friends to see, things at home to do and I make time to see my gf, all with a healthy balance. She hasn't got many friends and not much to do at her house which is where her dependency with me comes in...
After 2 days of me parting for space she was badgering me to get back with her cause she said she'll change, we have sorted some things out and it hasn't been too bad since. 2 weeks ago we had another fall out over a silly childish pointless thing, i was 15 minutes late and I was bringing supper with me, as soon as i step through the door i get the whole "What took you so long, I'm hungry" etc... which led to me getting fed up after a long day at work and rushing over to see her... I left in a huff and went for a drive.
Going back to her dependecy on me, I got a voicemail from her saying she cannot live without me and that shes going to kill herself. This is the second time she has done this, the first time i broke speed limits and nearly crashed racing round to see if she was still alive. I cannot describe how much this has hurt me, my mind is stuck in a place wondering if I can ever forgive her after she apologised for doing it, she crossed a line that night and 2 weeks on I'm bottling my feelings up and its killing me. From the outside, to her, I appear fine but its really really hurt me and I've told her that, I am starting to lose interest in wanting to be intimate with her and everything in my mind is a real mess at the moment.
I've always been happy, I think i still love her but since I've met her I have changed and not for the better i think :( I think I'm at my wits end, i feel like one more fall out or argument and I'm going to snap (not with the intention of harming her, i would never harm anyone!!) I hope you understand what i mean, sorry for the long essay, I just have nowhere else to turn and need advice. I can't talk to her about any of this as it immediately ends up with her crying straight away, me feeling guilty, and me apologising just to stop the argument.
Thanks, you're help is highly appreciated.
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Relationships
Relationship confusion
8 replies
MazdaMan · 13/06/2016 00:17
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