Sorry. This may turn into an essay 
Basically I met husband at 16. I had a crappy homelife, he was 22. With hindsight I just wanted a way to escape home. I left 6th form with great a levels. Left in the Friday, started a call centre job and bought a house with him on the Monday. )days of buying a house for £40k. Got a bank loan for the 5%deppsit)
We were totally skint and I got a second job in the evenings. He played football for a semi professional team and couldn't possibly do the same 
We got in a mess financially but over the course of a few years I slogged my guts out in a sales job and turned things around until we were zctually quite comfortable. He 'retired' from football. We moved to s bigger house and decided to have a baby. When I was 16 weeks pregnant he announced that he had quit his job because he wanted to start a business (think a low level cash based business) he also signed up as the manager of s semi pro football team... Committed ties eve 6-11 thurs 6-11 sat 12 noon- 8-9pm.
Ds1 was born. He was very excited to become a dad but strangely detached. I was in hospital for 4 days after a difficult birth. He only visited once. Left everything to me etc...I was soon on my feet had everything under control and had no idea 
how different it would be with 2 kids. so 14 months later did was born. A week later I discovered, when bailiffs knocked at the door that he had run up £40k of debt gor the new business and couldn't pay it back. He basically bullied me into paying some off on my cards etc do we ended up with £20k each.
I had left my job, taking lots of Mat leave before shewas born due to a difficult pregnancy.
I signed up to a uni course to train as a teacher and started when ds1 was 2.5 and did 11 months. It was the first time I saw his controlling side, he was obsessed that I would be sleeping with all the young male students (ffs!), he always caused a big row the night before an exam. I don't know how I got through that degree with no support, struggling to pay for food / uni nursery but I did and got a bloody first! He spent my whole graduation day rolling his eyes and tutting at all the 'fuss'. He though the children were too young for me to take on a full time teaching job. Well so did I but he as earning NO money so I had too. He then decided (after 3 years of me telling him so) that he wasn't making any money. He became s taxi driver this working every weekend and evening. I reckon he still makes less than min wage .
I was starting to wise up about his behaviour when I found out I was pregnant again I strongly suspect he sabotaged the condom 
Since then I have lurched along trying to hold things together dc3 is nearly 3.
I basically work all day at school. Come home do tea. Bath Homework and bed for 3 kids aged 3-9 and all housework. Then I start planning and marking until 12- 1 then get up at 6 and start again, I am on my own basically all weekend with 3 kids all weekend as he is at work/ football. It couldn't be any harder on my own. Could it? Most weeks he contributes £100 and thinks he's s a fucking hero. I really believe the reason he won't get. More family friendly job is because he wants to be able to duck off early for football and get out of a lot of graft with the kids. He is warm and affectionate when he's with the kids.
His decision making is awful, he refuses to open letters about unpaid bills, won't do tax returns on time. Costing us hundreds in fees. He had a conviction for driving without insurance as a policy lapsed over unpaid bills. I strongly suspect he has adhd or similar but had no interest in finding out/ getting support strategies etc. He had an Awful childhood. 1 of 9 children living in a squalid house with alcoholic parents. But now it's affecting our children's quality of life... I'm always exhausted. Ratty struggle to find energy for fun stuff etc. No money for nice stuff for them even tho on a good salary
Had a bit of a final straw today. I've got loss of work to do. He said he'd be back from work at 3. He turned up at 6 announcing he'd been for a quick pint. When I challenged him he said 'well I'm here now. Sorry' but his tone said ffs if u know what I mean, like I was making a fuss. Tomorrow I'll start my working week the same way as always, eyes rW from staying up into the night trying to keep up with my work. Exhausted. On the back foot.
I know I need to divorce him. Here's the question. Youngest ds is settled at his nursery but would have to move to one with longer hours. I am about to move older Dc to a new school after awful bullying. Ds1 has had an awful time, nasty bulling, dyslexia diagnosis. He's s really anxious child. They would have to do longer hours in wraparound etc. As well as finding their feet in a new school. I don't know whether to grit my teeth and wait 2 years till they are all a little older and at school together. Or is it unfair to string everyone along playing happy families knowing I'm going to divorce him.
Apologies for war and peace... That was very cathartic