How often do you argue with your dh?

[Hurryhurryhurry]

In any sense... Bickering, sniping, full blown arguements?

Dh & I have had less than a handful of full blown arguments in 12yrs together, all of which have been since we've had dc (eldest is 7). They're usually fuelled by stress/tiredness. But...

We bicker a lot more. I don't think a day goes by without us back chatting to each other. It might be a pa comment about something the other one has said or done, or telling the other to shut up etc.
On their own they're a none issue, but as a common occurance they're starting to grate.
It happens both ways so it's not all dh.
It's like the politeness/restraint you have when with friends has disappeared with us... The relationship is very similar to the one I had with my sister as a teenager.

Yeah my DD can be a bit naggy and sensitive to comments so that's usually when I try to take a new tact.

We have the same 4 arguments all the time so trying to stop that helps.

If he asks about the plate type things you could try preempt it with a joke or just ignore it?

I always back down as I can't be bothered with the hassle of his tantrums. Things have been broken when he's angry. Rare - but I know his capability

Every single day

What happens if you don't react to his comments? So if he asks about the plate, just say "yeah it's cool enough, I checked".

If you don't rise to him, he might stop.

We don't really argue as we are both pretty easy going. I guess with your plate example, asking whether it's cool enough for dd is his way of showing he cares and checking in. Rather that than him give her food thoughtlessly that is accidently too hot.

Maybe you guys need to see the best intentions rather than worst intentions? Surely it's down to how you are receiving the comments rather than what he's actually saying?

Yes, defensive here too. As pps have suggested, I stopped feeling he was criticising me and more that he was trying his best. So if he comes up with a suggestion sometimes I say that's a great idea, even if it's actually something I've already thought of, as I can see he's really trying to make things work for us all.