What makes a good relationship?

[Freeandsinglewater]

We all have seen lots of posts on bad relationships, and bad behaviour. This board is littered with them.
I've come out of a abuse relationship, and I'm finally dating again. Being with a guy who is not controlling is sometimes odd.

So what is a good relationship?

I'll start...
Being asked IF I want sex.

You get asked if you want sex?

If, when the mood struck DP, he said "fancy a shag?" I'd not think it was too romantic.

Isn't it more "a guy who respects if I'm not in the mood and says no"

It's cliche but without a doubt, trust. It's not trust relating to faithfulness, it's trust of good intention, caring, listening, being open, sharing etc...

Until I met my OH, I never trusted anyone, so it was a very strange new concept. He himself was very careful of trusting. We both believe that Trust is something that is earnt and that can only happen with time.

I think for us, 100% trusting came when we got engaged. Trusting mean that we really are two individuals but within one entity.

Of course, there are then all the other things that makes it a loving relationship but trust is without a doubt the foundation.

Being asked IF I want sex.
What a strange response. Do you always have to be asked before you are intimate? I assume it goes both ways too of course. I can't imagine each time needing to have this conversation 'I'm feeling a bit in the mood, do you want to have sex?' and if the answer is no 'ok, no worries, I'll ask again in 10 minutes? :)

I suppose it goes back to what I wrote, if Trust in there, you really don't need to have to ask.

The bad relationship, I never got a
Choice, and even when I did say no, it didn't matter.

This guy has always respected my choices.

Being asked if you want sex? oh no that wouldn't be good for me, I don't want to be asked if I want to go and have sex, I want to be turned on have my motor running but with a man who respects it's ok if I don't want to play.

Trust and feeling safe, I trust my DH completely no doubting ever I'm not insecure worrying when his out checking his phone (I've got friends that do this) and I feel completely safe when with dh.

Somebody that is there for you always to offer support.

Somebody that puts you top priority

Mutual respect.

1st find a decent human being.
Then For it to last you need compatibility otherwise you are doomed in the long run.

Eg we use the words 'fancy a quick shag' fairly often. Works for us