Sometimes I just feel so miserable and then I read other threads and think FFS your OH is not that bad get a life and stop bleating.
My mom used to constantly moan about my dad to us and is it possible I have inherited this never satisfied trait?
We have two boys 3.5yrs and 15mths, I work 3 days a week and OH works full time.
We bicker about the same thing and have been since we became a parents, who does the most around here?
My OH does the big things, house and car maintenance, financial revisions, hoovering weekly on average. He has a good job is very ambitious and I am genuinely proud of his achievements.
I do the daily stuff, dishes, cooking, laundry, shopping, general(not thorough)tidying up.
My husband lusts after me and is always physical and we have an adventurous sex life (quality not so much quantity these days) but that is mutual.
He tells me he loves me all the time yet I feel he treats me like rubbish. He is rude to me, sarcastic, he picks at the things I DO NOT do and frequently tells me I do nothing around here, though on an average evening you WIll see him on the sofa or laptop and me in the kitchen doing chores till 9pm. If I ask him to do anything say, carry up the clean washing for me when you are on your way up the stairs he behaves like Kevin The Teenager.
I cannot ask him to do anything for me, empty the machine, take something out the freezer, pass me this, pass me that without a strop whether physical or verbal. It drives me insane. I have tried the I will not ask you to do anything AGAIN route but it is exhausting trying to be superwoman and it is not fair, am I playing into his hands and that is exactly what he really wants.
I call him Charlie Stubbs (Coronation Street)because he is great at the reverse psychology stuff, he does not like it but I say I am only joking (I am only half joking).
If he has a day off, working from home or sick I dare not ask him to do anything, he always throws in my face that I am always bossing him around. I don?t tell him what to do; every request begins with a snively Honey, would you mind? Christs sake, I should not have to use that kind of language with my own husband should I?
I do love him but am no longer in love with him as he makes me feel bad about myself and I secretly cry, at this precise moment I do not want any physical contact, I feel like he is only interested in me for my body. How can he expect to talk to me this way and then expect me to be passionate, I have explained this to him in the past. He was deeply hurt but took the criticism on the chin (temporally).
Weekends are the worst. Before we had children we would lounge around in bed all the time sometimes getting up as late as 3pm. I cannot stay in bed past 7am these days, you are mums you know the score but he has not lost his love affair with his bed and does not get up until around 11am. I NEVER, EVER get a lie in. Recently I was out at a girlfriends party and got in at 4:30am and I still had to get up at 7! I was so upset. As long as the kids are tucked up in bed in the evening I can go out with my friends which is terrific but if he has to look after them on a Saturday or Sunday morning so I can get my hair done or check out the sales he starts a row with me saying stuff like I do not want to be with my own kids or when I get back he will be feeling upset and guilty cos he had lost his patience with the kids and been (in hindsight) too hard on them or smacked them unnecessarily. In 3.5yrs I have been out on a weekend day 3 times and it has always been the same. I will not be leaving the kids with him anymore. Ridiculous huh? I have told him if his love affair with his bed continues I am leaving, it is so unfair getting up knackered week in, week out listening to him blissfully snoring in bed and then shouting at the kids for stomping around or shouting.
Sometimes I think he is a little tough on them but I am old fashioned and I prefer him to be a disciplinarian rather than not.
He did get up for 2 or 3 weekends but is back to the old routine again.
Over Christmas we were off together 10 consecutive days, he got up early once, Christmas Day. I never got a lie in once.
Last night I got DS1 ready for bed and while OH was bathing baby I was putting away about 3 loads worth of laundry. DS2 was crying and OH was saying to him mom will be here in a minute to dress you. I said would you mind dressing him for me cos I am just putting away the washing; you know what he said to me? I was using the washing as an escape clause not to look after the baby! I was aghast, I suggested we swap if that is what he thinks surprise, surprise he said no.
Am I just an ungrateful winger? He plays with the kids solidly, I am allowed to wear what I want and go out any evening, I trust him implicitly, he is a hard worker, supportive to me on a professional level, we have great conversations about all manner of topics, he is funny, sociable, good company and we go out together as a family and as a couple and always have fun.
Tell me I am lucky and to shut the fu*k up!