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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex friend turning up on my doorstep

9 replies

Rugbycomet · 08/06/2016 20:17

I think she has been rude and behaved inappropriately. I posted a few years ago about what happened and -can't be arsed to find the post- but she has recently joined the gym I attend. I have really had no contact with her for about four years, paths rarely crossing but.....she turns up yesterday on my doorstep after us both going to the gym and leaving separately, asking why I was being passive aggressive. I have no interest in her life and I don't want her to have an interest in my life now. We have both moved on.

The more I have thought about this, I am furious. Her turning up at my home being confrontational. I want to message her to that effect but also want to remain, I feel, having the moral high ground.

OP posts:
Oddsocksgalore · 08/06/2016 20:22

Just tell her you have no wish to have a friendship with her.

Rugbycomet · 08/06/2016 20:27

I did exactly that oddsock but I am cross she chose to turn up at my door and be confrontational. I told her I didn't want to have the conversation, nor go over buried ground but she continued to demand why I wouldn't converse with her. I can't be bothered with this playground sh*t

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 08/06/2016 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeAmarok · 08/06/2016 20:33

If she tries to talk to you just say "oh hello, hope you're well!" and carry on walking past.

Very polite on the surface, but you don't need to talk.

Rugbycomet · 08/06/2016 20:35

I gave her several olive branches which she has seemly forgotten. In the end it was a parting of ways. It's never been an issue until now as I've bumped into her maybe three times in four years. It's now a regular occurrence, as I've said, as she has now joined my gym and is there at least three times a week.

OP posts:
Rugbycomet · 08/06/2016 20:36

This is the issue...I did say hi and she has tried to strike up a conversation. I am not interested. Hence I am being passive aggressive

OP posts:
Rugbycomet · 08/06/2016 20:44

Apparently ^

OP posts:
Gardenbirds123 · 08/06/2016 20:49

Difficult without knowing what exactly went on before but basically
what aye amok said

Then if she's persistsnt you say I'm sorry but it is not appropriate for you to keep approaching me in this manner. Whilst I have no wish for things to be unpleasant at the gym, I also have no desire to spend any time in your company. Small talk is not appropriate, so let's just get on with our individual routines if we happen to be here at the same time again.

Gide · 08/06/2016 22:28

Just face her, tell her you aren't interested in being friendly, walk away. Acknowledge but do not engage. Simple. Even the most determined person can't persist after that.

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