I need to tell someone about this as my head is reeling. I'm a lone parent to dd,her dad left not long after I got pregnant and hasn't been seen since. I've had a few short relationships since but nothing serious. 4 weeks ago I went on a date with a guy I met OLD-we'd had a nice chat but I didn't expect much as its all been a disaster previously.It was amazing.Instant chemistry,felt completely at ease from the get go,talked nonstop and by the end had told each other absolutely everything about ourselves and when we kissed at the end of the night it was just lovely. He was very open about having separated from his wife a year ago after a very short, unhappy marriage,as I was about dd and how she comes before anyone else,always. It was just easy,easy,easy. We talked next day and agreed we both felt there was something there and that we'd see each other exclusively from then on.A week later he announces that he's been offered his dream job in another country (think very big industry in sunny part of the world) and would be leaving in 2 months. Gutted. We decided to keep seeing each other til he left and it could be one of those short amazing flings that we'd remember for the rest of our lives.The last few weeks have been some of the happiest of my life and he's said the same. I introduced him to DD (as my friend) and they get on like a house on fire. Last week he asked if I would consider moving with dd to be with him when he goes.He feels we have a once in a lifetime connection and should give it a chance but understands that because of dd and the upheaval we'd have to take it slow but he'll do whatever and take as long as I need. He's willing to financially support us and will basically move heaven and earth to have us with him. And God help me but I've started daydreaming about it-it's a place I've always wanted to live and would be a brilliant place for dd to grow up.I can honestly say I've never met anyone who makes me feel like this before and when I think of the three of us being a little family unit it makes me ridiculously happy. Then (yes, there's a then!) over the weekend we met for dinner and he was not his usual self-very out of sorts. He said he'd told a friend about us and asking me to move out there and 'she went fucking mental and started ranting and raving' and had really upset him. He said she wasn't a close friend,just someone he'd dated briefly but nothing had ever happened because he wasn't attracted to her and they'd only kept in touch because she was lonely and he felt sorry for her but really regretted that now as she was clearly bitter and he was now cutting all contact with her. He came round for tea with dd yesterday and was still upset as this woman was hounding him and he is feeling very harrassed but isn't going to respond as she is just trying to get his attention. After tea he set his tablet up for DD to watch some cartoons on Netflix and we chatted through the logistics of moving and I said that I'd be happy to come out in the summer for a few weeks to get a feel for things and we can take it from there. He was thrilled. This morning he called to say he left his tablet behind. Found it in the living room. It wasn't locked.You can guess the rest. There is a messaging app he doesn't use with me and a thread with a woman who I assume is the friend that goes back to at least last September and has over 1,000 messages in it between them,virtually every day bar the last couple of weeks. Presumably because he's been busy with me. The last few are from her to him with no reply. She is accusing him of using dd and I to stop him from feeling lonely when he moves and telling him if he really believes that asking 'someone you've known less time than the food in your fridge' (ouch) to go with him is normal behaviour then he clearly hasn't learned anything about 'mistaking grand gestures for feelings'.She says lots of other stuff about honesty and responsibility and being himself not who he thinks I want him to be.Her last message is saying that she accepts she crossed the line but is worried about him and 'can't stand by and say nothing but I know you don't want to hear that so I understand that our friendship is over'. He hasn't replied. I have scrolled back through the messages and I can't get my head round it. Some are very flirty and suggestive and she makes it clear that she's attracted to him. Yet in recent messages (before me) it looks like he tried to make a move on her on a night out and she knocked him back. They send each other silly jokes and pictures.Talk about their day,things they've watched on telly,books,films. There's some quite emotional stuff that seems to be about an argument they had and he goes on and on about how important she is to him as a friend and that he will do anything to protect their friendship. But he's sworn to me she's means nothing to him and he only felt sorry for her?!
I feel horrible for snooping and I know I'll have to confess but right now I don't know what to think-why is he so upset about someone who means nothing to him and why does she care where he goes and who with?