Can you talk me through an OLD relationship timeline?

[SlowComfortableShrew]

I've met someone I like on okcupid and we've been seeing each other 5 weeks. Can you give me examples of your successful OLD relationships...
1.After how many dates did you snog

1. After how dates dos you have the exclusivity conversation
2. How long before you had sex
3. When was it "a relationship"? Did this evolve naturally or did you have a conversation?

Oh and now we are 3.5 years down the line and very happy!

Snogged on first date, DTD on 3rd. Never had an exclusivity chat, but he did tell me he loved me 3 weeks in. I ignored him. Seems he was right though, we've been married 10 years.

I found OLD seemed to move quite fast because of the nature of there always being a replacement easy to line up if it's not working. DH was very uncomplicated compared to most OLD I had, lots of excuses as to why they had been back on a site, or feeling like I was one of many it is harder to judge imo.

Ours is definitely not a conventional timeline! We met on a dating site in 2010, chatted for a while, added on facebook and texted. We arranged a few dates but they never came about for one reason or another. He went through a really rough patch with his mental health and totally withdrew from life so we lost touch for a few months. I then started dating someone else from a dating site. One morning I woke up to a text out of the blue saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry I've been off the grid, I'm gutted to have missed my chance with you" but I didn't know what to say to that so I ignored it.

Things with the other guy fizzled out (he was a bit of a dick) and I'd never managed to get DH out of my head. The day that my relationship status changed to "single" on Facebook (I know, I know! ), DH texted to ask if I was okay. I replied that I was absolutely fine, and did he want to get a drink next week? Our first date was in September 2012, 18 months after we first connected online

We snogged on the first date, DTD on the second (not planned - I shaved my legs in the sink at 11pm ) and we discussed exclusivity after about a month. I moved in with him in Sept 2013. We got married in April this year.

We never had the exclusivity conversation, I'm pretty sure that's just on TOWIE!

Nah! I always insist on the exclusivity conversation around the time of DTD (ideally before but doesn't usually happen...)

With the guy I am kind of seeing at the moment, I've thrown all rule books out of the window but it seems to be working so far..

First date (2 weeks ago) was cinema (usually a huge no-no but it worked for us!) with drinks after. I invited him back to mine for "coffee", hoping for a snog but he didn't take the bait, drank his coffee and left
Second date was lying on his bed watching movies...and then DTD, obvs.
Third date we did a bit more properly - dinner and back to mine.
Fourth date is planned for this weekend, and hopefully he'll stay over.

I knew before our first date that he wasn't talking to anyone else as I teased him about getting me mixed up with someone else and he confessed he was only talking to me. We chatted again on our third date and agreed that we are only seeing each other.

It's definitely not a "relationship" yet, though we are not seeing anyone else and plan to spend all the free time we have together (but this is mainly because we don't have much that coincides...)

OP, what about a "relationship" is going to make you feel more secure? More messages? Some kind of statement of commitment? You might want to use this time with him being away to think about what specifically is going to reassure you and then you can think about addressing that.

1. 2nd date
2. 3d date
3. 3d date
4. 4th date

all in a space of 3 weeks

If we were "in a relationship" I could relax a bit and let go a bit and not be constantly wanting to check whatsapp, because I would know that we both wanted rhe same thing...

First kiss - second date
Exclusivity - fifth date we both confirmed we'd cancelled our membership
Sex - sixth date
Relationship - never discussed it as such I think I remember him referring to me as a girlfriend about two months in. I introduced him to my friends in a boyfriend capacity after that.

Still not had the L word at 9 months...think he's waiting for me to say it due to my personal circumstances - but I'm dammed if I'm saying it first.

Incidentally we message must less frequently now the relationship is more established - pretty standard I think.

Good luck OP!

1.First Kiss - end of the first date (it felt right)

1. exclusivity conversation - we didnt have this
2. How long before you had sex - around 3 weeks after the first date
3. When was it "a relationship"? - i asked and she said yes around 4 weeks after the first date...

13 months later and here we are :)

Second date
We didn't
Second date
Just happened naturally and now married

1st date
6th date
4th date
We haven't had that talk yet, it's only been 6 weeks, as we have both been ridiculously busy in the last 3 weeks! Still think it will be another few weeks until we will!
Though nice to hear the positive thoughts, that if you have lost count of dates, and have not arranged the next date you are comfortable with hope things are going!

We snogged second date. First date was just coffee but we talked for 4 and a half hours. Sex was date four. We were both pretty desperate by then as the chemistry between us was (and is) so strong. I brought up exclusivity on date 5 but in reality we've been exclusive from the day we met. Introduced kids at 8 months. Been together 13 months and I love him to bits.

Oh and he said the L word 5 months in. We don't say it to each other all that often now, he's not a lovey dovey type. But he does and I do.

1. First date - within about three minutes of meeting.
2. About six weeks in he told it wasn't for him to say I couldn't see other people...I took that as an fishing comment which led to us both saying we didn't want to...
3. First date
4. After about two months we organically started referring to each other as girlfriend/boyfriend/partner etc. Been together a year and a half now and looking to the future together.

Kissed on first date.
DTD after three weeks of dating
Never had exclusivity chat - his mum introduced me to someone as his gf, we looked at each other, smiled and that was that, been together ever since. Now married with DD.

Started chatting with my fledgling relationship in March, met early April, I wasn't in a good place and said we should just be friends. We stayed in daily contact and I realised there was a potential something there after 2/3 weeks, we had a couple of dates early May, it got pretty intense, and I got spooked again and pushed him away. That didn't last and I spent a day with him at his flat. I went on a date with someone else on Saturday, realised my heart wasn't in it, and went to see the original man again and we talked and got physically very, very intense. We've not yet quite dtd, but imagine it will happen this weekend. We had exclusivity chat over the last couple of days, Sunday will be date 6. With over two months of contact.

What I'm getting at is there is no timeline, it's all down to each person's readiness and ability to commit. He had that much sooner than me, but I've lost a little bit of his trust in being so changeable, so now the roles are reversed, I'm ready to go for it, but he's more cautious.