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Original poster

Is this odd tinder behaviour?

22 replies

honeyJD · 04/06/2016 13:34

Matched with a guy less than 24 hours ago and a couple of messages in he asked me out for drinks tonight. I said I couldn't as. I have my dc with me all weekend. He replied this morning saying "ok another time maybe, if you fancy a bottle of wine and a good film tonight let me know" Hmm erm well a) I've already said I've got dc all weekend b) a film and bottle of wine implies it's at one of our houses and you're a complete stranger!
Such a shame as he is one of the rare fairy good looking ones with normal photos and a decent bio!
This is weird right?

OP posts:
Patheticfallacy · 04/06/2016 13:36

He's trying his luck. Anyone who suggests meeting at home is a) lazy and b) only after sex

Patheticfallacy · 04/06/2016 13:36

Oh and not odd. Fairly typical tinder behaviour.

loobyloo1234 · 04/06/2016 13:38

Not odd ... standard for Tinder. Mad how forward some men people are on there. You just have to swerve these ones Wink

MadHattersWineParty · 04/06/2016 13:40

Normal, he's trying to get tonight sorted as clearly wants a hook-up.

There are some lovely ones on there, promise!

WellErrr · 04/06/2016 13:41

It's code for 'a shag.'

Standard Tinder behaviour!

Original poster
honeyJD · 04/06/2016 13:52

Unmatching here I come then!
I'm a dating and tinder novice.... There's another guy on there who seems normal so here's hoping Wink

OP posts:
catbasilio · 04/06/2016 15:46

I am also tinder novice and yet to meet anyone decent. Since I added to my profile that I have two children, barely anyone actively contacts me.
Also it is alarming how men are quick to give out their phone numbers... totally freaks me out.

tigermoll · 04/06/2016 18:52

I echo the 'this is totally standard tinder behaviour' comments.

A wise friend once gave me two dating rules:
a) Rejection is usually much less about you than you'd like to believe
b) There is no point speculating about what might be going on in someone else's head.

RestlessTraveller · 04/06/2016 22:45

You know Tinder is primarily a hook-up site don't you?

SemiNormal · 04/06/2016 23:13

He wants some Netflix and chill! Grin

MadHattersWineParty · 05/06/2016 00:31

It's not primarily a hook-up site at all, there are lots of different people wanting different things on they're! You just have to collide with a decent one wanting the same as you.

MadHattersWineParty · 05/06/2016 00:32

There ffs.

Original poster
honeyJD · 05/06/2016 08:42

I even have on my bio that I'm not looking for hook-ups and to swipe away if that what they're looking for... Although they probably don't bother to even read it do they Hmm

OP posts:
HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 05/06/2016 08:58

One great tip I read was to put a very realistic photo on yourprofile. So no photos where you are looking your very best/pouting or posing, but more of a normal everyday look causal photo.

It's a good filter for all the superficial dorks.

tigermoll · 05/06/2016 09:35

I even have on my bio that I'm not looking for hook-ups

Oh, well IN THAT CASE, all the sleazy guys will definitely leave you alone ;)

You seem really nice, OP, so I don't want to be be mean, but is this your first time online dating?

cinammontwist · 05/06/2016 12:29

Seriously, you get all sorts. Just unmatch if you aren't comfortable. Or reply with exactly what you are thinking. Won't hurt - just be honest.

I've experimented with putting "I value integrity" on my profile (and taking it off) and I do get somewhat of a different sort of man when I've put that on.

ClopySow · 05/06/2016 16:42

I don't even think it's code for shag.

I think some people are just really, really full on without realising how off putting it can be.

ChicRock · 05/06/2016 16:45

Everyone I know who does online dating says Tinder is a hook-up site.

MadHattersWineParty · 05/06/2016 17:37

Well, tinder was the only one I tried, and I had to weed out some rubbish, but I had song lovely fun dates on there before going on to meet my DP (on tinder!)

Original poster
honeyJD · 05/06/2016 22:35

tigermoll I've dabbled in OLD but still a novice, only had one actual date. Been using it on/off for about 6 months. Before then I've been in LTR's and never needed to venture in!

OP posts:
Slowdecrease · 06/06/2016 13:06

You are just as likely to get shagged off Tinder as you are off Match, POF, or any other dating site for that matter, if that's what you want. You've also got a fair crack of forming a lovely relationship from Tinder as many many MN'RS can testify to and frequently do (but are roundly ignored, me included ). Tinder is full of normal people looking for a relationship. Some of those people will settle for a shag. As in life in general. So its not a hook up site at all , it is what you make it.

guestroom1234 · 06/06/2016 14:44

Male here.... I used Tinder for around 10 months mainly to try and find a relationship due to work constraints/not getting out as much as I did/being quite useless at the whole meeting someone in a bar scene.

Looking at what the OP put i must admit it does sound like he would like a Netflix and Chill type situation and some gents are mainly looking for this. However i will say there are as many gents out there looking for a committed and loving relationship, as i was myself... don't get me wrong i did have a few dates which didn't work out and had a few where i thought this could be going somewhere but fizzled out but such is life...

It worked for me eventually mind... been with my fantastic GF of 13 months who i met through Tinder...

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