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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Living apart?

5 replies

Hermanfromguesswho · 03/06/2016 20:39

Has anyone ever decided to live apart from their partner?
DH and I not getting on well for some time now. Both have separately thought of the idea that we would get on better if we lived apart. We enjoy spending time together but can't live together any more I think.
Is it a crazy idea to rent another house in the same close so that the kids can move freely between the two and we each get our own space?
Either it's brilliant and we will get along much better and be happier or we will enjoy being separated more than we enjoy being together and will end up spilt properly...not sure which way it would go. Either would be better than what we have now tbh...

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 03/06/2016 21:04

It's not something I've tried, but I feel when you need this kind of space when you have kids together there's a serious problem.

Have you talked about the issues that are making you making you both feel like this?

How about relationship counselling?

Cabrinha · 03/06/2016 21:13

Sounds quite drastic.
I don't think people should stay together because they have kids, but I do think they should explore all reasonable avenues.
And relationship counselling to deal with what causes the conflict is surely a first stop before the uncertainty and confusion for children of parents who live apart but are supposedly together?

Cabrinha · 03/06/2016 21:14

I don't mean that if you were perfectly happy to stay together living apart the kids couldn't be comfortable.

I mean that as it doesn't seem certain you can make your marriage work, the children can not be assured that this is not the beginning of the end. Therefore they have to live through the breakdown in a way that they ought to be protected from.

Hermanfromguesswho · 03/06/2016 21:29

It does seem drastic yes. We have recently started relationship counselling and its brought all the issues up for discussion in a way we haven't talked before. This idea has come off the back of that.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 03/06/2016 21:40

Even when relationships are at there best, there is a part of me that thinks that sounds like bliss.
I think you should give it a go

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