Why is everyone telling me he's not my type?

[JustBoppinAlong]

Why do people have to have a say in everything?
I met a guy online. He lives very very close to me. Started off by meeting him for a coffee. Then met him a few more times. Then went on a date. Watched films together.

Anyway, my friends have taken an interest and have been Facebook stalking to see what he looks like.

He's quite a big bloke. 6 foot tall, very broad shoulders, possibly intimidating to some. But he's extremely kind, caring, gentle.
We have similar interests, talk every day about anything and everything.

I'm attracted to him, he's attracted to me. Yet society seems to have deemed him as 'just below average looking'.

My friends think he's out of his league and I can do better.

Surely we are past the days when looks define everything? I'm attracted to him, surely that's all that matters?

I was quite looking forward to my friends meeting my new man. Now I don't want them anywhere near. Feels like they are spooling what I see as a good thing in my life.

Anyway, I'm not ever sure why I'm writing this. Guess I need to stop giving a fig what others think, even if they are my friends?

Let's hope her kids aren't ugly. Not so happy then huh?

Him not being your usual type may be a good thing. If you're looking for something long term, and haven't found it yet, then maybe seeing someone a bit different is the way to go.
It worked for me.

Your friends sound like arseholes.

If you are attracted to him and he to you then that's lovely.

The fact that they asked about money confirms how shallow they are.

Enjoy your new man x

Ignore your friends - he sounds great! I know it's hard sometimes - I've fallen into this trap before and been put off (actually nice) guys while the friends who were neg about my guys stuck with men who lied to/cheated on them! So as long as you like/fancy him and he's nice to you, forget their idiotic comments. Good luck!

I would have a not so good looking guy who treated me well over a drop dead gorgeous guy who treated me like shit any day of the week. Your friends should keep their comments to themselves.

Yes princess isn't a great expression (doesn't go well with strong independent woman!) but other than that, he sounds lovely, so do you, and your friends sound very shallow and a bit like they're trying to piss on your chips a bit - might they need jealous?

Be jealous, not need.

Don't let other people's expectations spoil your happiness. Ignore ignore ignore.

If you think he's attractive then he's attractive and other people can shut up and be happy for you.

Some of the worlds most beautiful women married less than traditional looking guys, Marilyn Munroe for one

Are you all very young? I'm sure ''society'' hasn't deemed this guy anything.

At my age, my friends would ask if you had an easy rapport, if you shared a similar sense of humour etc.. does he respect you, and your wishes. I must be getting old but it seems like decades since my friends would have said '''no, she should keep looking she could do slightly better'' about a man somebody was dating.

I'm early 30's, but most of my friends are in their 20's. In fact that may be exactly why there is a difference in view on this. I'm quite independent. I prefer to stay in than go out drinking. I enjoy country pubs and long walks whereas they still enjoy clubbing and dancing.

I also get what you mean when you say about passing by a nice guy. I've done that so often in the past. Why are we even put off by nice guys? I'm definitely no longer wanting to be with a guy that treats me like shit.

His idea of a date is a full day out somewhere that we will both enjoy. Maybe a meal or a film before returning home. Then cuddles and relaxing talking about anything.

He's the first guy I've felt completely relaxed with. It just all feels natural. There is no awkwardness. I'm not counting down the minutes until he buggers off home. I'm not desperately craving my time alone like I am used to.

Dating again is quite scary though!

I'm more conventionally attractive than my husband. But he is cleverer, funnier, more patient, forgiving and tolerant, an altogether better person.

What are looks? As long as you're attracted to each other and treat each other well that's all that matters.

(I think DH is gorgeous btw )

ah well there's your answer. It's not that older people are blind to men's physical charms but I do think that when you've had an abusive x husband and three quarters of your friends have had either a cheating X husband or a current cheating husband or a commitment shy elusive 'boyfriend' or a lazy man child who leaves all of the house work and all of the childcare to them..... then a decent, honest, supportive, kind, straightforward, competent, motivated man does seem much more attractive than the dude staring at himself in the mirror admiring himself