Right, please bring me your 'unfancy' tips

[TizzyTime]

Wise mumsnetters, please help. I need to un-fancy my crush at work.

He's been away for two days at a conference and it has been BLISS. No distractions for me, worrying about my hair or having to think of engaging chat to have by the coffee machine. It's made me realise how much I need to unchain.

So, how can I stop fancying him? He's sucking up too much brain time. I need tips to turn me off him.

He has toilet roll stuck in his foreskin.

Hope that helps. [It worked for me around 20 years ago. Thanks Karen. x]

Hehehehe. Foreskin a bit too attractive. I'm getting distracted before I get to the loo roll part

Sweet corn in foreskin worked for me (ill face)

Personally I'd leave foreskins well alone . Unfancying is impossible IME. You need to start fancying somebody else. Isn't there any more talent at your place of work?

No wait there is 1 tip that (kind of) worked for me. Ex crush had the same incredibly boring hobby as my dad. Just utterly dull. He used to take his GF to watch it. I felt sorry for her.

He must have some slightly boring aspect to him?

Imagine him wanking over porn in women's underwear.

Have sex with him? Or, are either of you in a relationship?

Imagine his underpants, full of skidmarks.

Cannot have sex - both married (er, not to each other, more's the pity)

There will definitely be something very boring about him. He does wear a gillet sometime. I tend to overlook it in my list, but it is definitely there.

If only there were other talent!

**lust, not list

I've only ever got over a crush by finding a new one sorry!

But isn't finding a new crush just as tiring?

I'd be exhausted if I was in a perma-crush state. I'm pretty tired now and this one has only been a few weeks.

yeah true

Get a crush you don't work with?

Imagine him doing a big shit and grunting and sweating a bit.
Still fancy him???

Imagine him with a squeaky voice.

Oh he has a really sexy voice. Pretty much one of the key features of his attractiveness.

I tried focusing on the gillet. It took the edge off a bit.

Pretend he doesn't fancy women, so nothing will ever, ever happen between you.

Oh just saw he was married. Sorry!

He has got a third nipple and webbed feet.

I once had a moment of relief from a crush when he turned up to work in green woollen socks.

Mmmmm

Imagine his wife has to apply Anusol to his piles. He's bent over in a rather undignified way with a tube of pile cream up his bum and a very unattractive grimace on his face. You do not want that job.

The anusol while wearing gilet - that had me giggling.

The problem is that while I enjoy the fantasy of my crush, the reality is that it's sucking up good mind space. I need that space back.

Image he has a really tiny willy and massive balls and his wife calls him Justin.

And he has a really hairy back and manky yellow toe nails which he picks when watching bowls on the telly.

Oh and he probably wears saggy washing machine grey y front with holes