Girlfriend cheated on me

[marty92]

Hi everyone,

Yesterday I found out that my girlfriend has cheated on me twice. She slept with two people while she was on holiday.

She says she is sorry and that she still loves me but our relationship has been difficult for a few months now. She is angry with me a lot of the time over trivial things.

Deep down I still love her but I have decided that we should have a break in our relationship for us both to decide what we want.

I have always said that I could never forgive cheating but now I am not so sure. I don't want my relationship to end but I can't get the cheating out of my head. It makes me feel worthless and like I have no value to anybody. She is the only partner I have had.

Does anybody have any sensible advice or has been through something similar and got through it?

I think you've done the sensible thing in taking a break. Aim to make it permanent.

Hi Marty

Sorry this has happened to you, you ahevonly just found out of course You are going to be thinking about it all the time.

What you decide to do is entirely up to you, but it your decision may be affected by lots of things. E.g..

Did you girlfriend tell you or did you find out
Are there problems in your releationship in general.
Are you and your girlfriend prepared to work on things

At the moment everything is going to be very painful and you'll still be in a case of shock.

It's probably worth taking sometime apart if you can easily and really think about things and give your self time some space.

Hope things improve for you.

What do they say, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, same on you.

But for fucks sake, she shagged two different people on a week? Thats probably good going for some one who is single.

She maybe be your first but she most definitely shouldnt be your last. End it as she will never respect you if you don't and will keep pn being unfaithful as she knows she can get away with it

Fuck it, its yhe other way round. Doh!

Sorry to hear what has happened. I think if it had been a one off you could have thought about forgiving her but two different people on one holiday isn't a mistake and I for one couldn't get past that.

She is your first partner so it will be hard to let go but I think you have to. She has no respect for you and she cannot truly love you if she has done that. I think you should leave her, you will get over it and find someone worthy of you.

Sadly, she has no respect for you and if you say forgive and forget she will, may well see it as a green light to do it again and in my experience it was very hard to really forget.

Best to say enough is enough and move on, by yourself

When my now ex cheated on me after all questions and reasoning had finished I asked myself 3 things

Can I ever trust her again ?
Can I ever be intimate with her again?
Can I guarantee it won't come out if we argued ?

The answer to all 3 was a big no so the marriage ended ...

Cheating once can be forgivable. But twice with 2 different people is another matter.
Add to that, instead of at least acting remorseful she's lashing out at you.

Chances are she had fallen out of love with you.
You have no choice but to end this relationship for good.

You will not be the first person this has happened to and certainly you won't be the last.