What do you do when you dont know what to do?

[JustMeAndDD]

Strange question I know. But I dont know what to do with my dp. I love him, but he upsets me too much, and he always starts arguements with me over nothing. I am so happy with him when we're not arguing, but when we are, its like my world is falling to pieces

It reminds me of my 10 year old son!! People cant beleive how he is so horrid for me and perfect at other times - I think that there you have the key to your dp's behaviour - immaturity. Grown ups don't behave like that - they take responsibility for their actions and realise the effect that they can have on other people. Why didn't he want you to receive counselling when you were depressed?

he thought it would change who i am, so didnt want me to go through with it; i do think he still needs to do some growing up, and i think i notice it more because ive matured a lot since ive had dd

JustmeandDD - I have no advice, just sympathy. I know how it feels. Although DH doesn't make me feel small, he does say things to hurt my feelings all the time.

I asked him only last night if he would treat his Mum like this. I was trying to make the comparison with someone else he is supposed to love and cherish. He only got angrier. I don't know why it seems he can treat me with such hatred and contempt, but say he loves me so much once he's calmed down. It doesn't happen often, but it still happens and I am lost too. So I'm sorry I can't help, just wanted to add that you are not alone. Good luck.

My DH is supposed to be phoning RELATE as he's off today, I'm at work and can't get the privacy to do it. But then he was supposed to phone them months ago and didn't get around to it.

Hopefully when we FINALLY get there they will be able to help with this.... and I hope you 2 can get through this too.

thanks toothache. i have thought about that (relate), but i know dp wont like it, and be like "i dont want someone to tell me what to do in a relationship" etc. i always feel like i cant talk to him about issues with our relationship as he'll go off on one

you guys have made me realise that there are a lot of issues with trust between me and dp. he had accused me of trying to check up on him like in his email address, and was saying that if it was the other way round, i would be looking up stuff he's been saying about me

My DH is like that sometimes. When he's calm and I'm happy and just mention it in a lighthearted way he's fine and always says the right thing (or says what I want to hear).... but when it rrrrrrreally matters he just gets angry. MEN!

DH was exactly the same when I 1st mentioned RELATE. He might still have the same opinion now, but doesn't say it to me since I threatened to throw him out if he didn't come. Harsh.... but necessary.

Just to let you know I'm thinking of you today.justmeanddd....I do hope you can work things out....it can't be easy for you.