I'm Asian and my Partner is black, my parents "disowned" me and I'm pregnant..

[MakiJ]

Always thoughts my parents would be happy for me as long as I was happy, but when they found out that my partner was black, they got very upset saying I had not been respecting my own culture and should have consulted with them before I started dating my partner.

Living in London, you would have more chance to meet people from all over the world and I have fallen in love with this amazing guy, never thought that my parents would be against me. Little did I know my parents were racist which upsetting enough, I was talking about how happy he made me, and how I moved on from my previous stale relationship. They didn't want to know me any more and stopped talking to me all together. You might say that I should've known my parents better, typical Asian mentality that you need to find someone from the same "nationality". Never imagined my parents would be one of those typical Asians..

Now that I'm pregnant, I would love to share the great news but because of the current situation where they have been acting as if they disowned me, I don't know what to do. The hardest thing is that I can't tell my partner why my parents don't want to meet him or speak with him Any advice would be appreciated....

I also have another problem with my partner who wouldn't move in with me

That above is the thing that won't help this situation. When parents are already not keen on your choice of partner for whatever reason - the action or inaction of you two not living together just makes them think he's not serious enough to commit to you and likes his 'single'

Fitting in with the stereotypical black male.
I mentioned this in an earlier post.

Was this a planned pregnancy?

If he's not willing to live with you, then you're more or less going to be a single mother. He will come and go as he wants.

How supportive is he likely to be?

Some advice for the future.... don't let the fact that your parents don't approve keep you in this relationship in years to come if it isn't working out for you.

Sometimes people stay in such relationships for shame sake or to prove it was the real thing.

Hi Ms. MakiJ, congrads on your pregnancy. Wish you and your partner all the happiness.
May I ask, which Asian are you from?

I'm also Asian. I'm Chinese and Vietnamese. I'm in the U.S though (not in UK).
I posted 2 threads in here before, some posters here probably remember my posts. But anyways, my parents also didn't accept my husband. My Vietnamese mother completely cut me off after I got married, she disown me when I chose my husband. She pretty much force me to chose between her and my Chinese father, or my husband.

In my whole family, my older brother is the only person in my family that accept my husband. Even till this day my parents still haven't accept my husband nor accept my marriage.

My husband is from Sierra Leone, West Africa. We got married 16 months ago.
I know him 5 years total. First 2 years we were 'just friends' only, I want to get to know him really well before I agree to be his girlfriend.
Fast foward, we got married 16 months ago. No kids yet, I did promise him that I will give him a baby, but not yet. Originally I promise him we TTC in 2016, but then I push the TTC plan to 2017.

He is an awesome awesome husband, he treats me really really well. He loves me in every possible way that he can.. I have no regrets this lifetime.

Do I feel grief that my Vietnamese mother disown me, belittle me, insulting me, say hurtful things to me, call me all kinds of names, does it hurts? Yes, it hurts.. But I love my husband. He didn't do anything wrong to deserve my mother discriminate against him and disrespect him. Kwim? I have no regrets that I chose him over my mother.
Yes, I know that sound unfilial and I am an unfilial daughter, but I have no regrets.

I am in a mixed race marriage. My in laws were very unaccepting and yes it hurt me to know that. However , they did come round when I had our first child. It did take 8 years before his mother would speak to me though! Whatever you do confide in your partner. You are creating your own family. Be strong

Hi

I felt really sad reading your post and also the further comments.
It's hard being in your situation and I should know. I was so worried about my own parents reaction and thought they would disown me. But I was lucky that they embraced my choice and our kids.
I guess giving your parents time to digest the situation and the fact that u r pregnant may change things. Parents love should be unconditional. It sounds like ur parents have no issues with u dating and it's just this particular guy. R u sure it's because he is black and not just because they don't feel he is right for u? It's quite concerning that u mentioned he won't move in with u. So is he your partner or merely baby daddy? Does he have plans to marry you and take responsibility for the child? Do u really know what u r getting yourself into? If he is not going to be there for u as a full time partner, I would think twice about turning ur back on ur parents.

Hello everyone thank you for your advice and support, I didn't get s notification and didn't know I had more responses but I'm grateful I'm sad to hear other similar stories but I love him and looking forward to having a family together today he said he was looking for a house for us

That's great news OP! Hope he can take responsibility and offer you the stability, love and commitment to both you and your baby. Good luck! X

Hopefully you can look for a house together

Alpies Joymum aww thank you! Hope everything is ok with you and happy, lots of love

That's great news MakiJ.

Just try and enjoy the pregnancy.

Hello SandyY2K thank you again hope are well and everything is ok with you

Hello Sandy, any update?
I just came across your post.