How do I survive weeks of this??

[Anonymousquestion]

It could be months, aargh! Just needed to share the bloody awfulness.

Have told DH I want to separate. It is likely to be summer before we do. I have a thread in the other place which has been a lifeline - literally. a couple of posters have been amazing but not much traffic. So hoping to hear from posters on how to survive this time.

For a long time I just went straight to bed after the DC did and lay wishing I was dead. So at least things are better than that now!

However, I am now incredibly bored. Whilst feeling better I am still down a lot of the time so struggling to motivate myself to go out of an evening. what would I even do? We are "normal" during day for DC and then sit in the same room each evening - he puts the TV on and I listen to podcasts on earphones.

Big headfuck is that for the last week DH is behaving so nicely and like it's not happening, making me nice dinner etc. I don't want to mislead him by playing along but obviously can't ignore him either. It's not helping my resolve though.

My sanity will not cope with 2 months of this. Anyone else doing same or survived similar?

[Anonymousquestion]

Couch to 5k also sounds good.

Thanks hellsbells. Breakfast in bed today. . I think hostile would be easier to deal with.

[BrianButterfield]

I feel your pain - I only had a couple of weeks like this but it was utterly intolerable. Luckily I had my own bedroom which was a sanctuary but it was still very hard, and yes, I had all the dinners and wanting to do days out etc (when never having dinner made for me was one of my reasons for separating!)

I had to say in the end I could not tolerate the sighing/hurt puppy routine. I put up with it for a bit as the separation was instigated by me and I felt guilty but it's not conducive to good communication. I found myself having to go into another room - like you I rely heavily on MN/Facebook friends for company and he was deeply suspicious of any time spent on my iPad, assuming that I was messaging men when I have a large and supportive group of friends who will happily chat to me when I need company in the evening. But I'm not inclined to reveal all the ins and outs of my friendships just to mollify him. Money was also an issue, that I was spending "his money" on things (I have worked for our whole relationship apart from maternity leaves) etc. He is supposed to be spending the whole summer in our house - I am desperately trying to scrape together enough money for a rental deposit so I can move out before then. Even incurring debt in the short term seems worth it not to have to live like that for two months.

[Anonymousquestion]

Oh no, I hope you get the money together. It'd be difficult to go back to that I imagine.