I am paying for that decision, or at least, I think I am. Just want a wee bit of advice please. Since he got back (from 24 hours in a cell and with a caution for assault) he decided he would try and be a bit more helpful and stop having a go all the time, he seriously wanted to change, particularly knowing that we didn't want him back but weren't prepared to see him homeless. So, he managed the dishwasher for a few days. He managed not to shout for a few days but now he's suffering from shock and stress and the cell was awful and noisy and he was scared and he is living with the threat of arrest if he kicks off etc. He is panicking at the slightest thing. Somehow, I feel as if this is all my fault and I have been very firmly put in the position of abuser. He's not going nuts at us and calling us names as he usually does, but dd teased him a bit last night and I didn't understand how humiliated he was and how it made him feel like smashing the house to pieces. He didn't do it, he didn't actually threaten it, he's just saying how he feels. WTAF? I'm back in the position of is it me or is he trying to resolve this. If he is I can't see how. We haven't discussed what got him to the point of arrest, just how awful it was for him (he's Aspie so super sensitive to noise, light etc.) and how scared he is. He says he takes responsibility for his bad behaviour and he shouldn't have done it, but this is followed by " I sat in that cell and listened to your seven page statement and I didn't say a bad word about you'. He has told me it's a nonsense (the statement), that I'm re-writing history, that I'm not writing a bloody novel. He's just being clever with his ea, isn't he? Or is it me being impatient and hoping for change more quickly than I should be. It's been two weeks now and we're still treading on eggshells around him because he's been traumatised by his arrest.