pathetic and hurt

[patheticandhurt]

NC

I feel so pathetic but am really hurt by recently activities.

I woke up last week to my partner having a wank beside me.

I know men do this and I won't lie i have to but never when my partner was sleeping beside me.

I think what upsets me is that I've told him countless times if love him to wake me up by softly touching me etc etc until i woke up then dtd.

He won't talk about it and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and that I'm not enough.

Need advice cause I feel so down and hurt and can't stop crying about it

Could you write him a letter, say how you are feeling?

You are so not pathetic, with twin babies and a closed off partner, anyone would struggle.

Have there ever been moments of closeness between you? How does he cope with being a dad? Is money an issue?

Sorry for so many questions, just trying to get a handle on things.

Their have been moments of closeness between us, and still are at times

He is a good dad but could be better, he does all the fun parts like plays games etc but I'm usually the bad guy that does the things they hate like nappy changes and hair washing, sometime it bugs me a little but then think he's been working hard all day it's only fair I do it cause even tho taking care of babies is hard I don't have targets and if I want to can stay in my pjs all day.

Money isn't a huge issue but we have just moved house a few months ago and has cost us thousands to get sorted so are having to just not waste money on pointless crap if that makes sense

OP, he sounds like a lousy partner who, if you separated, could become quite a good co-parent. What do you think about sharing custody?
I was in a closed-off, contemptuous relationship similar to what you describe, and was miserable for years. The long-term chances of improvement aren't good, tbh. Sorry.
Would you feel better if you moved back to your home town? It would be good for you to have some friendly support instead of contempt. It chills me that he'll natter about you to his dad but won't talk to you.