Is it the same ..?

[ByronBaby]

My H want to leave me after 24 years. He says that he doesn't consider that he is leaving our children, but he is leaving ME. He doesn't love me anymore (did he ever, I ask?) He swears there is no OW and I can find no trace, but I think only time will tell. He wants us to work something out about the kids. I have really struggled this weekend - I have been really busy with the kids, taking them to friends houses, taking them for a walk, watching films, testing timetables - all the usual. He has barely been here - nothing dodgy, but barely here. It struck me that if he gets what he wants, there will be long empty weekends ahead for me. I am not exactly awash with friends. This really upsets me - my H is saying "well - it is just the same for me." But is it really? He is choosing this and I am not. In fact I am without any agency. I feel so upset and so angry ... Any comebacks when he claims it is the same for him?

Trouble is, you can't just tell someone to move out of their own house overnight. Whoever has initiated the breakup. Took months before my ex moved out, even though he agreed he should. Wasn't until I got proof of OW that he started looking for a place properly, and even then he got arsey that I wanted him out, saying it was his home and he had a right to be there.

The funny thing is that I think I could cope quit well with him moving out if it wasn't for my perception that I am losing part of my kids. And i probably have trust issues around his treatment of the kids given what I see as his cavalier attitude to my feelings and to literally half of my life.

I am going to try and get some sleep now (time zones and all that) as i have to be in work tomorrow. Thanks everyone for the pep talk.

Op he probably won't end up with 50% custody.

From what I have witnessed it's only the really really decent dads who have anywhere near approaching 50% custody, and that's with the full co operation of the ex wife.

It's far more likely that he will settle for seeing the dc once a fortnight. Often this dwindles dependant on the feelings of the latest new girlfriend.

Don't worry your dcs love you And their dad, they will want to live with you not him and quite frankly he will be pissing into the wind if he thinks otherwise.