Stuck with my parents and feeling abused, so fed up

[everybitofsun]

Struggling today.

I'm nearly 30 and, after ending a 3 year relationship a year ago (we rented together), I have decided to buy a house alone. This has been quite scary, and been a huge reminder that I am 'single' in capital letters. I suppose because I never imagined it would be like this. But i'm lucky to be able to buy a focusing on that.

I'm struggling because, until the house goes through, I have another 5 weeks of living with my, possibly abusive parents. I've been here for 2 weeks already, and feel like a broken person. I'm staying here for financial reasons.

Today, I went to the shop and when I got back my parents had left the house and not left me a key. I'm not allowed my own key as I'm 'not trusted' in the house without them, as a generla rule. Unless it's vital I'm not allowed here on my own, they have to be here with me. This is becuase im messy, not because they think i will steal anything. I'm not actually messy at all, but that's a whole other story.

I then called my mum and, no apology, but starts talking to my dad while im on the phone, and having a conversation about something else..!! At first I thought it was a mistake,so I hung up and called back. She answers, then does the same again, so i can only hear a muffling sound like she's put the phone in her bag. There was no shouting from me, nothing like that. I was left outside the house feeling completely shit.

Last night I had to bring work home with me, and I wasnt allowed to use the dining room table in case I marked it. So I had to do work on the floor in the bedroom. BUT, when they want to talk about their daughter's 'great career', they're happy to do that...just seem to have no understanding while im actually trrying to do my job!!

Food. Another issue. I buy my own food and im told it's taking up space in their fridge so I need to stop. Then I'm moaned at for not contributing. Also had a 45 minute lecture about not buying free range eggs (i am trying to save every penny at the moment).

What's making me feel worse is that these two weeks have made me remember that they used to do this to me growing up...when I was 17/18. I feel completely abused, but then maybe i'm being dramatic and it's just usual family rows.

I can't stay with friends and have no other relatives in the area. I've already thought about ALL other options before doing this.

So fed up. I'm just complaining really but it's felt better to type this out.

Not sure if anyone's mentioned this but could you get an advance of your salary from work?

I second TwoLeftSocks and put up a notice at work, you don't have to explain about your parents, someone who's a bit short on cash but is worried about having a stranger as a lodger, or who's been toying with the idea might take you up on it.

Also can you find any local Facebook groups, maybe a family would be keen to take in a female lodger short term?

hope you get sorted, they sound like a nightmare!

Do you live in a university town? They tend to rent their halls of residence out over the summer very cheaply, and will probably have vacancies now. It will be slightly more than a hostel dorm, but less than a budget hotel, and you'll get secure storage as well. I know that your budget is desperately tight, but a lot of those halls will have student bars in them, and they may be looking for evening/weekend workers.

Also, could you say where in the country you are, if it won't out you? We can give general advice, but could tailor it more if we knew whether you were in a big city or out in the sticks, and there may be region-specific help that mumsnetters know about.

beg /borrow an ipod and listen to it with earphones when you are in the house, you really don't want to hear any of their comments.

You need to prioritise your mental health and that means limiting your exposure to these toxic people. If you insist on staying another three weeks, then you should only sleep there and have your meals elsewhere. Yes, it will cost more but in the grand scheme of things, it is a small price to pay for keeping your sanity.

Ye Gads, they sound awful. I've a spare bed If you really can't stay anywhere else then KNOW that this is not down to you. Repeat that every time you interact with them until you get outta Dodge. And do your level best to avoid them until then.

You could also try "agreeing" with them over every comment/slight. In a mildly sarcastic "You're so RIGHT!! Can't BELIEVE I've never realised that before, thank you SO much!". It might be amusing for you, you will be in control and it will shut them down.

Have you bought a house already. Where are you going to in 5 weeks time?

Does spareroom.co.uk still exist?