This is what has been going through my head since Easter.
I think I am in an EA marriage. We have two DC's, a toddler and a baby. I have no friends in RL I can talk to about this and my family is in a different country.
I am suffering from PND. I am on anti depressants and have recently finished counselling as my scores came to within "healthy" range.
We had a huge argument over the Easter bank hols. He had gone out for drinks with a work colleague (which I was fine with) and said he would be back home for tea time. Tea time rolls around and I ask him what time he will be home, he said he was staying out and I started getting a bit annoyed. I wasn't feeling very well and felt like I couldn't cope. I told him that and he went off on one, he said that "you were the one that wanted kids" and "you don't love me anymore", he called me several names. I put the phone down on him and said we would talk when he had calmed down. Whenever he goes off on one of his rants I tend to switch off as I don't like being sworn and shouted at. This was not the first big argument we have had. It's quite frequent that he will call me names, say I'm a crap housewife, moan that the house is a shithole (it's not!), and come home from work to ask me what I've done all day. After things had settled down the next morning we were talking in bed and I suggested marriage counselling. He responded "yeah great idea then someone can tell you how fucking mental you are" he also called me a "fucking liar" in this conversation.
He is also not very nice to the kids. If they are being noisy (or crying in the baby's case) he will tell me to shut them up. He has also called DC1 a "dickhead", despite me telling him not to. He never helps out with the baby, will rarely change nappies and won't do bedtime. He has never taken both DCs outside of the house on his own.
Every time I go for a shower on the weekend he tells me not to be long as he wants to do something.
I really think I need to get away from him. I know it isn't great for the DCs to grow up in a house like this. I am constantly being put down and sworn at. I just can't take it any more. I have no idea what I need to do. I'm so confused and I'm scared. I have no money of my own but a ton of debt. I just want to be able to see clearly again.
Thanks if you have read this far