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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Christmas.... 2007!!

4 replies

min912 · 15/01/2007 14:19

So the MIL visited this Saturday just gone, all went well considering, she didn't monopolise DS (almost typed 'monotonise' there, which would also be accurate) too much - but when hubby took her back to the station, she invited herself to ours for xmas this year!!

Apart from the obvious problem with this, we were intending to go to my parents, which we did 06. I've never actually cooked xmas dinner and I'm not sure the year I want to start is with a toddler (he will be 13mths xmas this year) running around!

I don't want to be overly selfish, but, she is really hard work (passive-agressive type, eg says she'll stay in a hotel to make you go 'oh no, you have to stay with us') and although it's great she's interested in the little one, she and hubby aren't exactly close. It's not so much that she's cold as just entirely emotionless. Just sort of blank really...

Would it be too selfish to suggest her coming between xmas and new year instead? That way she gets to spend lots of time with the baby, we get a slightly relaxing xmas.

Can't believe I'm fretting about this already.... if I really run away with the panic, she ends up moving next door when she retires!!

To his credit, hubby didn't cave and said 'we'll have to see nearer the time'.

OP posts:
kslatts · 15/01/2007 14:52

Can't believe she's thinking about christmas already. I wouldn't worry about it until nearer the time.

dassie · 15/01/2007 15:00

Does she normally spend Christmas on her own? Is this her first grandchild?

Personally, I hate spending Christmas with the inlaws as it doesn't feel like Christmas, but I feel it is only fair to alternate as both sides are equally grandparents (although don't get me started on the stress of dealing with the fact that the in laws are divorced!)

However, if my husband said we didn't have to spend Christmas with his family I would jump at the chance but HE would have to deal with it and the fallout!

min912 · 16/01/2007 17:16

Yes it's her first grandchild... she usually spends christmas with her other son (no kids).

I do feel a bit bad for not alternating, but, both of us are closer to my parents and they have supported us much more than his mum... and essentially we'd both rather not have her over!

Since posting this I have moved slightly from anxious to a bit annoyed that she brought this up so damn early in the year!!

Does make me think... hope how ever many years down the line ds's partner doesn't think of me in this way!!

OP posts:
pinkflowers · 16/01/2007 21:00

My mil has also mentioned Christmas 2007 to my DH already. It drives me mad !!
We really struggle with the ILs as we too are also closer to my family.
I feel really bad about it and have really tried to make an effort to include the ILs however the way that they are with our DDs makes me find it a real stuggle spending time with them.
I know that MIL feels that she never sees the grandchildren. We had all the ILS over for the day on Christmas eve 2006 ( which I managed to endure although I could have screamed many times throughout the day ) however that wasn't enough for them and so MIL has asked DH about Christmas 2007 already.
I was none too impressed when he told me.

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