At a complete loss

[Ineedmorecoffee]

I posted last week about my h who'd seriously spat his dummy out because I'd told him I felt he took me for granted and really needed some help and support when he was home from work.
After being ignored for the best part of a week he's now decided that I'm abusive and the only reason he's still with me is because of the kids.
We've had our ups and downs previously but this has knocked me sideways. I don't know where to begin to start processing what he's said.
I don't know what the hell is going to happen and that scares the life out of me, I haven't slept or eaten properly for a couple of weeks anyway and this has knocked me even further down.
I have no one I can talk to in rl, I'm loosing my grip on what's right and wrong and desperately trying to hide it all from the kids.

I know relationships are different and that they go through ups and downs. But if my husband called me a "bitch" even once - I'd consider leaving him. If he did it again (or showed no remorse) I'd be gone.

I know I 'make it sound easy' - but I want to get across just how much of a body-shock it'd be for him to use words like that about me.

And that's without the gaslighting, or ignoring.

Please don't let things like this become the norm for you, it's not normal and it's not okay.

We rent, with regards to finances I have nothing, I can't just up and leave without money for a deposit or to see us through a few weeks while things get sorted. Then there's the fact there is no where else to rent. There's no way he'd move out. I can't move further away from the school as I don't have a car.
We don't have joint money, he gives me some to cover the rent and a few bits and bobs and that's about it.
I feel sick at the thought of having to spend the weekend with him

So he could be financially abusive as well.

An organisation like Womens Aid could help you.

I agree, financially abusive. Calling Women's Aid would be your first move.

Hi Ineedmorecoffee I notice you haven't posted for a while and hope that you're all right. I've been attending the Freedom Programme, along with a whole roomful of lovely women. We have all been subjected to shades of the behaviour you're describing. Do look The Freedom Programme up online and see if there's one near you, or if you're talking to Women's Aid, ask them about it. Some of the women I mentioned come from the refuge to attend. I know there are scandalously few refuges, but if there's one near to you, that is somewhere you could go to with the children.