I need to dump my white hot anger somewhere

[DandelionGarden]

Resisting the urge to vent on Facebook because I know it will make me look like a loon and it will get back to ex and he will be revelling in the fact he has got to me yet again.

Whole shitty back story that is cheating EA XH who got everything in the divorce (I walked away for an 'easy' life) and makes me do EVERYTHING for our DC, who doesn't pay maintenance on time and fucks about with the contact schedule, often at the last minute. Back in JANUARY he asked if he could swap his weekends around in June, I thought so he would have the DC on his birthday and Father's Day. We had a text conversation to clarify and he's said he's not having them that weekend OR the weekend before because he 'already had them a day for [me]'. Is now ignoring my text asking which day he is referring to and screen shots of the messages from JANUARY.

He cancels all the fucking time, right at the last minute. Never mind this day he is talking about, I have them every time he cancels, every school holiday unless he decides he wants them (rarely) and every time they're off school. My job means I have to work evenings and weekends and I have no alternative child care. I have so much to do in June, I need the weekends I'm meant to be child free so I can work. I have to work anyway but doubly so because he doesn't think he has to pay maintenance. I fucking hate him, and hate how unfair it all is. Why? Why did I ever have children with such a spiteful piece of shit. I hope he gets cock rot .

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

I think we may have the same ex-husband. I'm sitting on my hands trying not to reply to yet another text about how he's not sure he can have the girls on Sunday as he's going out. Its like he hasn't realised their care is a responsibility, its not just contact for his well being. (He does the not brushing teeth thing too, and often has no toilet roll in either)
You have my sympathy, and thank you for the thread so I could vent too!

Contact CMS. He can't lie about his income - they go directly to HMRC to get his income. My ExH has been paying me based on a salary of £32,000. I knew that was wrong, but boy, how wrong!! He actually earns £132,000. I am now pursuing this, for back payments.

Do it! You are mad if you don't.

I've not been through a divorce so I really can't comment on the assets and maintenance etc. but I will say, karma's a bitch. He'll get his comeuppance so don't you worry about that.

My DH's dad left for an OW when he and BIL were very small. He was a complete fucking arsehole to my poor MIL and to the boys. He screwed her out of everything in the divorce (didn't concern himself with the fact that he was also doing it to his own sons) and was frequently late for visits or cancelled at the last minute. Boys sat on the sofa with their bags packed and excited to see him and he just wouldn't show. Makes my eyes well up just thinking about it and whenever it crosses my mind I have to give DH a massive hug.

That was obviously years ago now and in the interim MIL has been a bloody saint. She didn't bad mouth her XH, she just let them see for themselves what he was like. Nowadays we have a very superficial relationship with DH's dad. He's good company when he's there (which isn't often at all - maybe a few times a year) but DH and BIL have both got the measure of him and he's missed out on having a close relationship with two amazing men (plus their wives and children) just so he could get his end away (OW relationship lasted 5 mins BTW) and hang onto all the money. He can never repair the damage he has done.

How are you doing OP?
Have similar going on at the mo & resisting the urge to send him the email that's in my head.
My ex is so selfish & such a bellend.
But then is such a Disney dad when it suits him

Hi princess, sorry, I've just seen this. Sorry to hear you're going through something similar . I would write the email but don't send it, or write it here. It's very cathartic.

We're not doing so good either. The DC refused to go to his on one of his contact nights last week which ex blamed me for. He then demanded that to avoid this, I should do all the drop offs to his on top of all the ferrying around I already do. I told him no, that if he wants to see them, he can collect them (no trouble for him in his completely paid for company car to pick them up on his way through from work).

He also had a go at me for letting the DC go to the corner shop even though they went with a friend who is older and very trust worthy. This coming from a man who spends his weekends getting pissed at the local cricket club while the kids entertain themselves. The hypocrisy is one of the things I can't stand about him.

He's also threatening to take me to court to make contact an official arrangement. Fabulous I told him, no more cancelling all the time like he does. Maybe a judge can tell him that he needs to take more responsibility.

It drives me nuts, he has no idea what an easy ride he's getting and has the chutzpah to demand more like its me being unreasonable! I should have left prawns in his curtain poles when I left .