Will I have fewer true friends as I get older?

[Beesneeze82]

Jetlagged and pregnant and feeling more introspective than usual so please be gentle.

Not in the UK so wide awake in the middle of the night pondering a minor situation yesterday which made be think I don't have the same values as someone who I thought was a good friend.

It's making me a bit sad to count only my DH my sister and two other girls as people who share my outlook on life and have similar values. Don't get me wrong I have lots of friends and in fact I am probably becoming more friendly as I become more confident as age. But is having fewer 'true' friends as we get older something other people identify with?

I think becoming a mother probably has something to do with it. And now pregnant again I'm probably thinking about such things more than I would usually.

It would be nice to hear other people's experiences.

I think quality should outweigh quantity always. Why waste your energy on dozens of friends you don't get on famously with? I think it's hard enough as an adult with kids to keep in touch with the really good friends, let alone the ones you're not quite as close to.

I completely agree n0ne. But it's not that these friends aren't good quality it's more that I'm increasing discovering people don't think like me or value what I do in life. I appreciate that everyone is different. And that's great. I wonder if as I become more clear on my values and priorities, this highlights the differences with others more?

It makes me a bit sad to realise this about my relationships. I wondered if others found the same?

I'm finding the opposite, actually. As I hurtle rapidly towards 50, I have a lot of close friends and a very wide circle of less-close friends. As I have become more tolerant as I age, I am friends with people who I probably wouldn't have given a chance to 20 years ago, when the children were small and nights out were a precious resource.

Sorry - didn't finish.

In the past my friends were like me - same values, same outlook on life, same page on parenting issues. Now I have friends who are very different, and life is better and more interesting for it.

I agree completely

I'm an expat too and the people I thought were good friends have just not bothered to keep in touch. I'm not sure I even have what you'd call a best friend.

I think as I've got older in some ways I'm more easy going yet in others I'm the opposite. I care less what people think of me, I don't put up with shit I don't need to.

And I'm quite self sufficient- I'm definitely an introvert and don't need chatter and constant company. I think this makes me dread the thought of trying to mSke new friends.

I am lonely though. Which is the downside