DP and me are not in love anymore. We love each other, in the sense of what we had and what we have done together, but it is clear our feelings for each other have evaporated. We have four DCs, between 8 and 17. DP had an affair 5 years ago which stopped, but resurrected itself again 12 months later, via phone not physical this time.
Since then we have worked hard in every way possible, physically building a new home from nothing, emotionally losing loved ones and one of us surviving the cancer odds, and financially by making the best of the opportunities that came out way. It's been years of hard work.
We survived but in different ways. I got the worst of each of those. I was the optimist to drive DP's constant negativity. Still am.
I am now at the point where I can't go on with this. Everything I give is rejected. It's like living life is bad, to be stomped on.
It feels so bad of me to be whinging, because by many posts on here we have a great life. No money worries, we are all well liked by friends, family and social nets, and there are no abuse issues.
Talking results in DP stomping off, going to see GP and counselling seems to make DP spiral down into the muffled moan.
I want to split. Do things apart. There is no one else involved, just me wanting to be me, and wanting to be me for out DCs. I will find somewhere else to live, DP can have the house and the rest. I will start again.
I don't know what you can add. It just feels good to tap this out.
When the alarm clock goes up in the morning it feels like a gift, another new day, but by breakfast DP wants to add a sack of rocks in my bag.
Have NC by the way.