DH thinks Ive got someone lined up to move in

[jampots]

NOt sure whether to larf to be honest.

Weve just had another row and he thinks when ive finally driven him out then i have someone lined up to move in!

It's not a bad idea though aye!

You mean you haven't? Why not?

god yes - fab idea - George Clooney?

It's because he can't stand the thought that you'd rather have no man at all than have him - a double insult. If you had some other bloke lined up, then
a) the other person might be Brad Pitt and it would be a bit more understandable that you preferred someone else to him - blokes understand winning and losing stuff
b) it would be you in the wrong not him and
c) he would have someone to fight

So deep in the innermost depths of his psyche he really wants you to have someone lined up.

I once said to my dh that if he fell under a bus I wouldn't remarry. He was hugely insulted (rightly). Men, wierd or what.

Exactly my problem. He's so convinced I have a man that he won't hear of a divorce because he doesn't want to make it easier for the non-existent man. He told the children, the counsellor and the man at the CAB about it; he's even got legal advice on the basis of it (I told him he'd get much more accurate advice if he told his adviser the truth, but he replies "These are the facts", several times in a row, in a triumphant sort of voice).

Meanwhile, in the real world, the nearest I've ever got to having another man was a couple of internet flirtations, AFTER I'd already given him indoors his marching orders, and I've never met either of the chaps and don't expect to. In some moods he admits he knows this but says I am looking for someone and have been for years, which is proved by the fact I use skincare ie am trying to look younger than I am in order to attract men.

OK, mine is rather more weird than most...

Jampots....that pilot....?

you? drive him out???

yeah, that pilot

vicki and suzy - no NOT that pilot

Annie: Be careful. And the same goes for OP. Sometimes blokes like this are just sad silly sods who've got the wrong end of the stick, sometimes they're laying the foundations for doing something undesirable. Whether they genuinely believe that you have another lover (because, after all, women couldn't possibly cope without men to tell them what to do, etc) or they just hate you bitterly for rejecting them, some men believe that everyone agrees that a woman who has rejected her male partner for Another Man deserves to have bad things happen to her.
Of course, I don;'t know either of your XPs, But the one who's telling everyon e that you have a lover give me the creeps. You need to tell everyone that it isn't true, that he is deluded and may be obsessive.

Thanks for the warning, Madamez. However, although he clearly is deluded, he's probably the least likely person in the world to turn dangerous. He's more likely to harm himself than anyone else. The irritating thing is that we can't negotiate like two adults because he has this distorted view of the situation.

I do suspect sometimes he knows damn' well I dont have a lover, just as he knows I am not a liar, he just realises that both accusations make me very annoyed, and any reaction is better than indifference.

Oh, and as for his telling everyone else, anyone who actually knows me realises it's ludicrous, while anyone who believes that of me is not worth knowing.

Not that I'd say no to a lover, if someone nice came along, mind you. But I wouldn't lie about it.

Fair enough. I've just heard one or two too many stories about people who did awful things to ex partners on the grounds that the ex "had someone else" whether they did or didn't.
Agree that deluded prat is more likely than evil beeast.