Stealing a baby name

[needfemaleadvice]

I'm absolutely livid. I've had a call from a friend saying that a friend lets call her 'sarah (name changed for privacy)' has decided to call her baby my baby name.

Before you all think I'm being overdramatic.... no one else in the world has this name as far as I know and I've had it chosen as my baby name since I was 14. 'Sarah' didn't even tell me she was considering it. I've made my close friends who know to promise they would never use it when I was 16 so I am hurt. I know not every chooses baby names this way but I always dreamed of a baby girl called..... so it's a little heartbreaking to hear that someone I considered close may take something that I wanted so badly. The name is two words in two different languages combined. DH agreed that if we did have a daughter when we're ready... it would be the name.

I don't know, I think I'd be a bit cheesed off if it was such an unusual name and I suspect more people on this thread would than choose to admit it. I worked with a woman with a daughter who had the most beautiful name, hers was a one off and I would have loved it for my dd but just felt I couldn't do it to her. Of course no one owns a name and if the name was Sarah then to try to own it is silly. But an original that everyone knows you love is just not very nice.

Here is a suggestion. If you want to keep something for yourself, keep it TO yourself.

Watch this OP.

For what it's worth, I don't think your wrong. Using a name you know your friend would like to call her daughter one day is a bitchy thing to do.

Don't be sad OP. I do think that was mean of her but you sound down about your life at the moment; maybe focus on that and let this one wash over you if you can? There are lots of names out there and if you do have a little girl that will be so much more to you that what she's called.

PM me then OP

Focus on that as in focus on making some changes to make you happy I mean!

I vote for going Samantha on her name nicking butt.

When I picked my sons name I'd not really heard of it, maybe once or twice but Deffo wasn't common.. now I hear it all the time!! Thankfully there is not one in his class atm, but we have been out and he thinks it's me calling to him when in fact it's another boys mum

Guess what I'm saying is it may not be known now, but by the time you do have DC, it could be a very popular name.. I wouldn't waste too much time being mad over it, and certainly don't let it ruin celebrating the baby shower with your friend.

I am also very intrigued as to what this name is!

Oi! EVERYONE!

OP has come back and very nicely told us that she's calmed down, realised she's been a bit silly and explained why she might have over reacted because of other stuff going on in her life

OP, hope you're OK. You're going to get kicked till you're black and blue here even though you've very quickly explained yourself. Hope you're OK

Actually I think jaccobinna sounds great,

well done, OP. You have to admit you did sound about 12...

please have a look at the stresses in your life and see what you can do to change them. Good luck.

A similar thing happened to me OP and I was also a little upset for a few days. Especially as we were struggling with ttc at the time and it felt like an extra kick in the teeth. I got over it fairly quickly, though I certainly don't share confidences with the individual in question any more! Hope you feel better about it soon.

OP I don't think you sound like you're 12.

I think you are unreasonable though. Which is completely normal when it comes to dreaming of our future children

I am super curious about the name though. Can we try and guess?

Does it begin with J?

If the name is in tje top fifty to eighty names then i think it is likely that two friends of a similar age /location /education bracket would both like it. It is explained in freakonomics.
but if is something really unusual then i would be annoyed. I could never do it. I lead i dont follow!!! ;-) Some people are fine with that.

Fwiw i dont think op sounds 12.
I would be genuinely surprised if a friend had done that. More embarrassed for them and their lack of imagination than annoyrd. But still, i would think, wow.... (if it were a GENUINELY unusual choice. Eg not just a name rising predictably and cyclically but that had not yet made it in to the top 100)

Not quite the same but my favourite name was nicked by bloody Disney! Born Free was one of my favourite films as a kid and I loved the idea of naming my daughter Elsa!

Then Frozen comes along and makes it a no-go.

Stupid ice Queen...

Mistress, that video is hilarious, makes me want to fetch out all my satc dvd's!

OP, I think that anyone in your position would feel secretly annoyed. It's just one of those things we're not 'supposed' to admit to feeling annoyed about. It's one of those things that will irk you for a bit then you'll get over. I think I'd probably feel like you do, be it childish or not.

Use the name, it's important to you, I don't understand why you can't use it when / if the time comes for you. You will be able to tell you DD that you loved the name your whole adult life so why would someone else choosing it change your mind? One of my mums friends gave her daughter my name, we are now as adults friends and neither of us has ever thought it remotely weird.

Actually I can see why you are annoyed ! You have made up a unique name and she has robbed it !

But not much you can do is there ?

Lesson learned. Never tell people 'your baby names' as people have no imagination and will steal them.
I am weird and have a list of names of my phone, which no else is ever seeing, and I'm not even in a relationship, let alone pregnant.

I would be annoyed! My friends and I regularly talk about baby names (now we are having them) I wouldn't dream of taking their favourite. There are thousands of others to choose from!