family fall out

[dogbety]

hi not been on here b4 but what agreat site hope to get sum advise and views. my hband family have all fallen out with us now long story keep it short if poss, we been 2gether for 23 years since we 15 last year we had a time out period and my husband family and i were still ok till 1 night my sil rangme 2 in mornin and accussed me of sleeping with my bil and sed he was my son who is 21 father i couldnt believe it i confronted my other sil for support and she sed she already knew as she had asked 3 years ago i was told not to tell my huband but i did and he went mad we fell out with them but his 2 sisters sed they couldnt take sides so ok, at xmas we found out they had a party all went except us this is taking sides in my hband eyes and now he said he has finished with them all my sil has won he lost his 2 sisters and brother and my kids wont see their family any advise who wrong here are we being selfish we just wanted some respect

This is really difficult to read without any grammar - sorry!

I can't work out what has happened because of how you've written it, but from the general gist, what you're being accused of sounds unfair and pretty ridiculous.

what a silly tiff
so the gist of it is your sil thinks her husband is the father of your child
how silly
no wonder your not speaking bet your dh is hurt
i dont think your being selfish i would just stay away from your family in law for a little bit

So who is your sons father? And where did they get the idea that youe bil was his father? Have you ever had a relationship with your bil?

All very confusing & childish when you have been married for 23 years.

PS: You may find you get a better response if you don't use "text speak" when posting as a lot of people either don't know what it is, or are irritated by it HTH

hi thanks for sum of your answer i think. i thought at first you all used text language as i dont no what dh is still. well shall i recap then, my husband and i have been together since we were 15 and now we are 40, a long time .My sil last year accussed me and her husband of sleeping together, and said he was the father of my 21 year old son which by the way is not the case.She said this in drunk state but has been on her mind for years. i think she said it too course trouble within the family, which she has. She and my bil have been married for 10 years and she has had 5 kids, 4 fathers i might add.They have got none together as she cant have any more.My husband is now not speaking to any of them as he feels they have stabbed him in the back by talking to them . i no he is upset by this but i am unsure of what to do.

feel sorry for you
after this long married you want to relax as your children are older
sounds like youe sil is very insecure and childish

Poor you, I have the sister in law from hell, she is fat, rude, lazy her house is filthy, she has no self respect or morals and her greatest pleaser in life is to cause rows and upset to EVERYONE else around her. We have nothing to do with her as in her last mad outburst she said we should have had our sons put down at birth. She is a bully and even her own mother is scared of her, mother in law phoned new years eve to wish us a happy new year and had to wisper down the phone as sister in law was upstairs and she did not want her to "kick off" if she knew mother in law had phoned us. Sister in law has also told all and sundrey that my DH is not the father of my children (although like you DH and i met when we were very young and were together 21 years) her argument for this was "you were told you could not have kids so how could my brother be the father"? (can i also point out she is thick as pigshit and thats insulting the IQ of pigshit)

Can you and you hubby invite his sisters and any other family members round and put the record stright?
Although i would think you are better off out of it all, if she was druk when she called you is there a chance she has a drink problem? How have your parents in law been about it all, can they be a go between?
Good luck, and really i know its hard but try to laugh it off as the rantings of a sad lush with nothing better to do.

hi, thanks kimi for that. Unfortunatley both my husband parents have died many years ago.My husbands 2 sisters also live on the same street as his sil, so it is really not a good situation.His sisters are talking to her. She also rang me the next day, after this rant and said the same sobber. She also told me not to tell my husband as it would tear the family apart,natuarally i told him and he went mad.Now we dont see any of them im not bothered but i feel like she won, i feel like she wanted me out of the way so she could be all friendy with the other sil (childish i know). Its my husband i feel for and my children, he lost 2 sister a brother and children dont see aunties and cousins any more.I think its a bit harder with no parents too hold it all together.I hate her so much, more so because i have never done anything to her .If she ever read this i hope she would realize that i think she is a big fat ugly jealous bitch.

It seems her accusations have more to do with her own insecurities about her husband. What ground does she have for believing this? If she really does believe what she has accused you of, I would say also that it should be fairly easy to set the record straight and if she still doesn't believe you after that then there is not much you can do.

It was unfair of her not to expect you to tell your DH.

I think that as it is your DH's family, however, I would take my lead from him and as far as possible try to let them sort it out in their own way.