Friendly friend no longer being a friend

[citybumpkin]

Over two years ago I found a wonderful friend via work. I have very few friends and her company was much appreciated. I thought we got on great. Over the years she has been a bit intermittent with contact but put that down to the ebb and flow of life. To be honest, I have my down moments and sometimes aren't the greatest of company. We have always muddled through. However, recently she has been rather abrupt with me in a work context. Admittedly, I was having a down moment of late due to health, family, ex matters but yet tried to remain upbeat and ensured I'm keeping contact/concerned about her and her family.

I'm not the sort of person to give in. Every relationship needs to be worked at. All I want to do is maintain that mutual support but feel that every step of the way I'm thwarted. Extensions of apologies for my being low are not accepted and concern about her well-being met with no response.

At what point do I give up on her/our friendship?

You probably should have done so a while back. What you view as 'working at the friendship' is probably bring perceived by her as refusal to take the hint and being stalker-ish by the other person.

You can't continue a friendship with someone against their will. I think you'll just have to chalk it up to experience and move on.

I'm being stalkerish? She is usually the one who contacts me to moan about work and all I want to do is talk about something more meaningful. I've done the whole "are you ok?" Texts and thats it. As much as my other friends do with me and I've known some of them for decades.

Ahh ok, sorry I misunderstood her being abrupt and not responding to you and intermittent contact as her perhaps phasing out the friendship.

So she just contacts you to moan about work? But she's being abrupt with you in work....?

Perhaps she is a bit of a user and wants you to just be a free counseling service to her?

Then gets sulky if you try to introduce another subject?

Who knows? We go through these phases and eventually she apologises for "not being a good friend". I admit to having normality, highs and lows but my others friends (and vice versa) are supportive throughout. Ok, for example, this week I've cheekily asked if I can attend a conference in the US. Never been anywhere really in several years of being with the same organisation. Management have agreed. I think she, rather than be happy for me, will be peed off. Jealousy or some such...