relate ............is it all it's cracked up to be....

[bandstand]

and how the hell do you get there... presumably you need a baby sit.. excuse can you baby sit while we thrash out how useful my DH is?

er, useless, i meant useless.

I am on the waiting list to be seen.
all i have heard about Relate has been VERY positive.
Hope you can clear your head and sort stuff out

thank you, it is all a bit scarey for me. rather be an ostrich and bury my head..

I have been and it saved what was left of our relationship. They are quite flexible with appointments - we were offered evenings and sat as dh works full time. I was lucky as I had someoen very understanding who had the children for me. I have just offred to do the same for a friend who is having similar problems. You could always lie about it if you aer okay with that.

You can also gt online or telephone counselling if you don't want to or cannot go in person. The otehr alternative is for you to go on your own if you could fit that in better.

this link will give you more details. Good luck and ask me if you have any more questions.

As you gather I really recommend it - I wish we had gone sooner!

thanks for your rsponse, go on your own? might try that.

it is suppossed to help you to work out exactly how you feel about your situation and your partner. It also will give you a chacne to test the water and see what you think is going on.

I found I felt so much better after just one session as I finally felt like I was doing something about the problems in the relationship rather than accepting them.

Go for it I say - it won't do any harm.

deep breath. ok.. thanks.

I found solo sessions much more useful than going as a couple, Relate worked much better for me than DH who saw it as 'advice' and 'instruction' on how to save marriage rather than exploring-and-clarifying. Back to good old gender differentiation again.

There is a charge for Relate but effectively you pay what you can afford, and it's free if you need it to be.

I went to relate with my dh about a year ago. He only agreed to go with me as I said it would be over if he didn't. I thought it was useful in that it was one hour a week dedicated to discussing our problems and we had to listen to each other. Unfortunately I didn't have a great deal of faith in our counsellor she seemed to feel the need to interrupt with examples of how her marriage worked. As I had very little in common with her ( she seemed to be a 1950's housewife/slave who did everything for her husband) I didn't find her presence that helpful.
We are still together. Honestly not sure if it will be forever but ok for now. I'm still glad we did it. A friend once said to me that if I left my marriage it would be good to be able to honestly say I had done everything I could to save it. It has to be worth a go. We also had problems with child care. We paid a neighbour's daughter in the end. Got a bit pricey- £40 a session for counselling plus a tenner for the babysitter. Decided to get a cleaner and have take away once a week in the end. It worked out cheaper and less pressure on me! Hope it works for you.