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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bit pissed off-understatement!

6 replies

Gide · 10/05/2016 22:00

Recently, my direct manager left. It's been a blessed relief, no-one chasing me for stuff that I've already done and returned etc. The main boss is now managing me and has basically told me he trusts my judgement, I do an amazing job and how 'outstanding' the department I manage is. He also says that now he's spent time with me, he's changed his opinion of me (we've spent several hours together interviewing new people, having meetings etc). He's quite new so hasn't seen much of me til now.

He spoke to someone I manage and expressed his surprise about how I wasn't a 'monster'. My colleague was surprised and told him how professional I am. Clearly, my outgoing manager has poured poison in his ear. There is nothing to be done, but I am so cross with the departed manager, but also to an extent with the main boss. I know a boss has to listen to his managers, but shouldn't he have bothered to sit down and get to know me rather than believing I was a 'monster'?! I feel like the outgoing bitch manager has done me a massive disservice for some years.

OP posts:
offside · 10/05/2016 22:15

I genuinely don't understand why you're so pissed off? Everyone has an opinion of everyone, some you like, some you don't.

The people you work with have now had their say and your new manager has changed his opinion. Maybe just move on it from it and be happy that you don't have to work with your old manager who you clearly didn't get on with.

Montane50 · 10/05/2016 22:42

Is your direct manager being replaced or are you now being recognised as being amazing and being paid/allowed to fill that role? If its the former you're being used, if its the latter accept the promotion and move on.

Gide · 10/05/2016 22:51

I'm not being promoted, there is no upwards movement available.

I'm pissed off because for years, I played the game, more fool me, kept quiet, did a good job. I'm now allowed a much freer rein, I can do pretty much whatever I think is in the best interests rather than have to check every minor thing. I'm also pissed off because being labelled a 'monster' as the person smiles at you and tells you how (saccharine sweet grin) great you are, while clearly lying. I think it's very wrong of her to have told the boss this and it's very wrong for him to believe her.

OP posts:
Offred · 11/05/2016 00:48

Hmm... Sounds like the company is a bit rubbish TBH.

You are now essential to the work now your manager has left.

It sounds as if the office operates on the basis of gossip and no-one (inc you but you acknowledge it) uses disciplinary/grievance procedure to raise/manage conflicts.

That is quite annoying.

If the old manager was still around I would have encouraged you to put in a complaint about the unreasonable and overbearing 'management' but maybe she was just trying to find something to do knowing her job was going and maybe the guy you work with now is over egging because he's wanting to retain you while they ask you to handle more responsibility for the same amount of pay.

Summerlovinf · 11/05/2016 01:18

Someone who has left said you are a monster, person here now thinks you're really good and not a monster. Sounds like life just got better? I'm prob missing something..

sykadelic · 11/05/2016 02:40

I'm not sure why other people are confused...

OP I totally get it. Suddenly finding out that people were being told this story about you by a person who you didn't realise felt that way/was making those comments... has got to hurt.

It IS a good thing that this new person has seen how you really are but you might benefit from a chat with the new person (or someone else) about your concern that he's been told misleading things about you and that you'd like the opportunity to rebut them. Perhaps the former manager has also taken credit for things that were actually you, as a way to hide her own incompetence... can't hurt to ask.

It's not really possible to come back and say "she did this, that and the other" to try and show how awful she was, unless you already reported those issues... still, try and take solace in that this new person IS giving you a shot, HAS given you the benefit of the doubt and your working life is going to be so much better.

Onwards and upwards!

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