OH and I have what people would see as an ideal relationship if they looked in from the outside.
On the inside though there is some really bizarre behaviour that I just don't get.
He keeps secrets.... always related to his kids. I really don't understand why he lies about silly little things that he really doesn't need to.
I can't think of loads of examples but a few spring to mind. They are all pretty petty little lies.
His kids were going on a school trip to paris.... I said over and over we needed to sort them some euros. It didn't get sorted and the morning he dropped them off I asked if he'd sorted it and he said no.... he'd just given them cash to change themselves. I was fine with this.
2 months later he was checking a bank statement and he asked what he'd spent money on at post office counters. It was large amount so we were puzzled. Then he realised and said "ohhhh I got the kids euros didn't i"...... why lie?
Then a while ago we had some problems with his daughter meeting up with strangers. I was concerned for her safety. We all sat down (with her mum and step dad) over a cuppa and explained why we were worried. She accepted it was foolish and she had been trying to please a friend.
So I have just sat in the car and found a handwritten note from DSD friend explaining how sorry she is for leading DSD astray and asking that she isn't punished for something that she had pushed her into. It was a lovely note.
He got into the car and I was holding it. Straight away he said "I told you about that"..... before I'd even had chance to ask about anything. I know he hadn't told me because I'd have remembered reading it. I'd have recalled a memory when I saw it. It was the first time I'd seen it. It would have been nice to know that the situation was sorted and we could draw a line on it.
He said he keeps things secret and lies because he had to with his ex because he couldn't tell her things. But I'm not like her. I'm nothing like her. I've never given him reason to lie so why do it.
What really fucks me off is this whole line of "I told you that" or "I showed you that" all the time when I know these things haven't been said. He relays whole conversations he that we've apparently had that I know we haven't had. I am now at a point where I can predict them coming.
Initially I was getting myself really upset because I thought I was forgetting whole conversations, and it was only a few weeks ago when I realised that I'm not actually forgetting anything.... he just tries to trick me with saying we've discussed stuff.
I guess the things he's doing aren't actually the things that are bothering me.... it's the whole thing of making out I'm losing my mind that's upsetting me.