Angry with H being a mean dad again

[messyoldmess]

He sleeps in the downstairs bedroom because we are separated, but still living under the same roof.
I got up with the boys this morning, got their breakfast etc & they are now in the lounge with me, playing with DS2's Duplo train. (The lounge is opposite H's bedroom)
They are playing nicely, but are crawling around after their train, which is obviously disturbing H, who is still in bed.
He has just burst into the lounge, shouting that if they continue to run around they are both going to their rooms.
I told him they were only playing & were not running around, just crawling after their train.
He said "I can hear them banging & they will go to their room if they carry on!"
He then went back into his room & shut the door.
I am now paranoid about the boys waking him up because I don't want him to punish them.
I know we won't have to live like this for much longer, but I am feeling so cross with him for reacting like this when they are only playing.
Maybe I am being a bit over sensitive & shouldn't let them play near his room, but I hate it when we are treading on egg shells like this.

unless he was working stupidly late, any noise past about 7 or 8 I think is fine... but while he's being like this, maybe you could let them play upstairs if he is getting this angry?

They have now gone down to the playroom to play on the v.smile.
He wasn't on nights last night, he just wants a lay in.

Upstairs would probably rile him just as much because he would hear them banging on the floorboards.

Its awful living under the same roof when you have split up and my experience didn't involve children.
I hope you don't have to wait too much longer, you won't believe the relief when its sorted. Maybe not much comfort now but something to hold on to.

Thanks, feetheart. It is awful & has been going on for 7 months now, although hopefully not for much longer, as we have sold the house.
It was because of this side of him that I decided to end the marriage & can imagine that things will be much calmer when we are in our own place. I still feel so tense around him when he's like this & feel I have to restrict the boys from playing how they wish, for fear of riling him.

He is quiet now & so presume he has gone back to sleep. Boys are playing very quietly too.
I know we won't be living like this for much longer, but I just needed a vent!

Have you had your appt with your solicitor?

It's next week, Freckle.

Poor you and your poor boys, messyoldmess. Don't know your history but has your H always been such a dragon? What will he do when the boys visit him on weekends? Maybe they won't want to visit him so much if that's the way he behaves.

I hope that soon you and your boys can run and shout around the house as much as you like!

He has always been like this, Spandex, although he's not like it all the time. He is an all or nothing dad, either taking them out & making cakes with them or being like this & barely allowing them to breathe. There is no middle ground with H.

Going to mail you when I have a quiet moment, Freckle.

You're going to be very well rid of him, dear. What a self-obsessed, miserable arse he sounds. Best of luck, it can't take much longer.