Can this work?

[AtTheEndofTheRoad]

Have been preparing to split up with DH. Was hoping not to, but he has been so indifferent to me over the last year, ignored me, refused to come to counseling, rude to my friends and family. And I have posted other threads, feel that he has killed my love for him and assumed he felt the same about me.
So today I told him and he was devasted, distraught and wants to try again.
Can this work? Can you rekindle a relationship that has deteriorated so far? Has anyone here managed it?
And what should I be trying to do? I feel like I need an instruction book!

Could have written this myself op..I finally plucked up the courage to leave my dp a few months ago. Things aren't great still for various reasons but I had the same 'raised heart rate and everything being my fault' I gave up trying. Good luck

Err... Money and DH won't be sad and kids won't be cross with me splitting up with their dad.

Your kids are growing up thinking this kind of relationship is normal.

Would you want this for them when they're adults? I'm guessing not.

You need to put you first, no one else will xx

I know Mrs, because I grew up thinking this is normal. One bit in a book stuck with me- about not marrying someone like your father just because they seem slightly better than your father ie a grade 8 bastard instead of a grade 10 one- I need to re read. But I know you're right.

BB9791- are things any better for you yet? I know it's not an instant solution and things would take time to get better, but at least I could be myself.

All the positives for staying how you are are not about you...they are all about other people. The list for going IS lots about you. THat is a GOOD thing

"Apply your own oxygen mask before helping others"

Norks- you are so right. So how did I come to say I would give it another go? It's not like I haven't said, directly, at least 4 times over the last year, that I have had enough and think we should split up. And yet he acts like it's totally new.

Do you mean you are going to give it another go NOW?
Oh dear :(

That's what led to me starting this thread, because I was panicking at the thought.. . But I'm not quiteready yet, anyway. Have a lot to sort out and I need to wait until the end of the big exams. So I'll use that time to organize my paperwork and so on.
I've just read back the thread- I'm guess I'm quite surprised how unanimous the responses are. Believe me, I take it all on board. Thank you all.

So this week I overhead him say " I don't know what's wrong with her- I know I haven't changed . Which I think proves he hasn't listened to anything I've said, for months.
i don't know if it's even worth challenging him on this.

From personal experience no. I was the same with my ex partner and tbh issues do tend to arise be it on purpose because you can't deal with it or just because it isn't meant to be. I started imagining myself without him and knew it was the right thing to do. Good luck in whatever you decide it isn't easy either way