Why does my husband give "politician's answers"

[Yukduck]

I am NOT looking to divorce him ! I DO love him and have for over 30yrs of (happy) marriage.

HOWEVER my dh never answers the question I ask. I am only just becoming aware of this these past few years but I think he has always done it really. I ask straight questions like "I want to re-decorate the lounge, shall we have plastered and painted walls or stick to wallpaper?".
He responds with "if we plaster and paint I do not want a dark colour, and if we wallpaper the same really".
I get a good idea of what he doesn't want but not what he does want. I have asked him to actually answer the question I ask but this sounds rude and he gets hurt by my being so blunt as he thinks he has answered the question!
Is he the world's perfect husband (non confrontational and a perfect sounding board for my ideas) or is he the worst (frustrating and never gives me an idea of what he really wants).
If you compare him with your partners, how similar is your experience?

Doing things that are boring but needed is just part of adult life really.

You've got a 1 in 12 shot Slowdecrease. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while

Hm. It's just a common libran trait as I know full well being one and my partner being one too, we can't make a decisive comment to save our lives. Blind squirrel I may be but if the OPs husband turns out to be one too I'll be unquashably happy

Sorry to disappoint you Slow but he is an Aries! He has a bit of a wicked sense of humour so I think he does this to tease me as he knows I want his honest opinion and he sort of never gives it (without a dogged battle!).
I am heartened to see I am not the only one living with the master of the non-answer! DrMorbius and Naze my dh would go with whatever I suggest with food, holidays, soft furnishings, décor, garden planning as he always says I have great taste.

I love the idea of putting the wall paper up one end and the paint up the other and seeing which one he approaches. I could try this with ham or cheese for his sandwiches at weekends or holiday brochures!

Arf yes it is exhausting. I do acknowledge what he has actually said but then I have to rephrase my original question until I get a response, and clarify as I go, but I can feel the cogs going in his head as he tries not to give an honest opinion or make a decision on anything whilst still trying to look interested in what I am proposing.

I feel like I am living on the set of Last Of The Summer Wine sometimes.

My DH is like this. I blame it on private schooling

I'm out

You see Yuk make one very smart choice and all other choices follow. work smarter not harder So I picked a DW with great taste obviously and I never have to make another choice about mundane stuff ever again. Although I do contribute to holiday choice.

Well yes that's the point really isn't it... A really great way to trash a relationship is avoiding being an active part of things and just deciding the other person should make all the decisions. Having great taste is irrelevant - do you know how deeply wearing it is to always have to decide not only for yourself but for another grown adult as well?

'I find it boring' is childish and I suspect it covers up a 'I feel I'm above this' sentiment in reality which is deeply disrespectful to a partner.

DrMorbius - It all fits now. You have revealed the secrets of his male mind.

He has to work on hiding the cogs working though. I can actually sense when he is trying to answer but not answer the actual question.

He has been a work in progress for over 30yrs. Looks like he has been secretly shaping me to make the mundane decisions, and all the while I believed it to be the other way round!

Offred I agree if it was a flexing of power muscles it would be deeply troubling, but he knows better than to do that as I have inbuilt radar for that sort of behaviour.

I welcome and ask him for his input or decision on day to day things. I have the same surreal experience as situatedknowledge . I only realise later he has had a long conversation with me but not actually said anything I can work with or that closely resembles a choice or decision at all! It really is a skill.

He is the master of avoiding the question but I am on to him now!