Please bear with me as it's long and it may be in bits and pieces.
Mil is married to a man who has committed, and been convicted of, several sexual assaults against women. She is refusing to leave him and is expecting us all to play happy families.
Dh is caught in the middle. He loathes the man his mother has married, has a wife who refuses to spend time with his mum and her husband, but wants to maintain a relationship with his mother (which is understandable). I want to facilitate this but within the limitations of I don't want contact and I don't want my dc to have contact with this man. So far I am the bad guy in MILs eyes because "he's served his time". She is being an obstinate cow and refusing to see her son without her husband present, almost to prove a point.
It's breaking my husband into pieces. In his eyes his mum is a victim, in mine she's a manipulative and malicious woman who always has to have her own way. Through all this dh and I are fighting more and more and it's getting close to the point of no return for us which is probably what she wants.
I don't know what to do or where to turn or what to say to dh to help him.