FFS, I had a thread back in October about being ostracised by my Dad, he cut me off for no reason (well there was a reason, it's because DD has SN and he blames it on me).
He's refused to engage with me since then, I'm really fucking distraught because we always had a brilliant relationship for 41 years, he will not talk to me, but takes DD out for a day a week, I've had enough of a one-sided status quo so sent him a text (the only way he'll engage with me, he's blocked my number so i can't call him).
I said,
'Dad, question? Are we ever going to sit down and talk? we moved up here eight months ago now and haven't spent any time together, I've left it a decent time to discuss this but I'm not happy at your continuing refusal to even bloody talk to me. It's ridiculous, hurtful and confusing, and if you're going to continue down this path I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut all contact with you because the current divisiveness is ultimately harmful to MY family. I do have a son as well who would like to spend time with you, and I would like to discuss what you said to me in your email of last Autumn. To be cut off from your Father on supposition? It's a bit much. If you chose not to respond to this I can only take this as a clear indication you do not want to build any relationships. Which would make me sad, but hey ho, I will have to accept I did everything I could. x'
To which he replied;
'Dear Hound, WOW, quite a monologue, I'm not actually refusing to talk to you, not at all. It's more a question of how much energy one has to deal with life's problems. In practice, I have finally accepted I cannot help you directly; you have made your life's choices & that is your business, no matter what I think. After a lot of thought, I have come to the conclusion that my limited energies are best spent on your DD (DS seems fine). For whatever reasons, I think she can particularly benefit from my small efforts. She (and DS) are the future. I am very much the past, and you are not far behind. We and our concerns matter very little...and that's it, in a nutshell. Hound, you've had your fair share of my life...there's nothing more I can give you. I only wish I could spread myself to cover DS also...but he needs me less, and my time is finite. I hope this clarifies things a little. Dad xxx'
So my dad, who I had what I thought was a great relationship with for 41 years, just told me to fuck off essentially.
He won't speak to me, won't spend any time with me, I'm utterly distraught. It's hard enough having a DD with SN, but for a parent to tell you to fuck off because of it? It's fucking broken my heart.
I did send him a message back, I won't repeat it. I'm not even looking for advice really, there's none to give, I'm just so fucking hurt. I've been sobbing for five hours.