Sometimes, my husband and I have stupid arguments over nothing, here is a recent example:
In a (not huge) shop both browsing upstairs, I am looking for furniture.
I sit down on a sofa for 5 minutes or so, while looking through book of fabric samples.
Meanwhile husband is finished browsing, spends time looking for me but can’t find me. Rings my phone (I’ve left it at home) ends up waiting at the door.
I go to look for him to show him the sofa. Find him. He is FUMING: Where have I been? He has been looking EVERYWHERE for me, he was about to ask the shop to put out a tannoy announcement etc. etc
I explain I was sat on a sofa where he left me, apologise for not having phone. He’s not having it, still ranting on, feels he has been made to look stupid. Doesn’t want to look at the sofa. Furious that I didn’t bring my phone – tells me to act like an adult. Speaking to me really aggressively and being really rude. Takes about 5 minutes for him to calm down and admit he's behaving like a prick.
This sort of thing is rare and when he does get like this I always try to calm him down, but it pisses me off – why should I be apologising, speaking to him nicely and trying to placate him when he’s the one acting like a complete dick! Really I should reply in the manner he speaks to me, but I know this would just make him more cross at the time.
Fair enough, I do quite often forget my phone, but what was the deal with the huge overreaction in this particular situation? Why does he get so cross about things like this, and why can’t he accept an apology and calm down straight away?
I can't imagine getting so cross over something so minor, and would certainly never speak to him the way he does to me if the roles were reversed.