Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

Original poster

Would you think this was a come on or just drunkenness?

7 replies

lostmyspecsagain · 03/05/2016 23:12

I was out with work colleagues last week and one of the guys was very drunk, he's normally quite reserved and respectful but he was sat next to me and kept putting his hand on my thigh and leaving it resting there. I kept moving it away but he'd then do it again a few minutes later so eventually I moved away from him.

Now today was the first time I'd seen him since and felt a bit awkward although he acted completely normally so don't know if i'm thinking too much into it.

OP posts:

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 03/05/2016 23:13

Come on. Alcohol have him Dutch courage.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 03/05/2016 23:31

Neither. He's a dick with no boundaries.

If he was drunk he'd have apologised the next day. He didn't, he thinks it's fine.

Tate15 · 03/05/2016 23:38

On the tube years ago it was commonplace to find a hand on your bottom.

Very hard to move away the groped on a packed trains and difficult to see who was doing it. Easy way to find out was to grab the hand and hold it aloft and say loudly, "Does this hand belong to anyone? I just found it on my bottom!"

Sounds as if this guy was being over familiar and now you know not to sit near him on nights out.

Original poster

lostmyspecsagain · 04/05/2016 18:14

I'm thinking so Tate15, I know it was pretty harmless really but just makes me feel a bit differently about him that he thought it was ok.

From what he's said about how much he'd drunk that night i'm not even sure he remembers it (or is hoping I don't/wants to pretend he doesn't)

OP posts:

specialsubject · 04/05/2016 18:40

it's called harrassment.

being that pissed is not an excuse (or only in the UK). It exacerbates the level of arseholeness.

stay clear. You know now that he's a jerk.

MNHQ

DawnMumsnet · 04/05/2016 22:43

We're moving this over to our Relationships topic at the OP's request.

frieda909 · 04/05/2016 22:51

I'd think it was both a 'come on' and drunkenness, but that doesn't make it OK. Drunk or not, touching a colleague (or anyone!) who doesn't want to be touched is not acceptable.

In your shoes, I'm not sure I'd mention it if it really was just a one-off, but I'd be slightly on the alert with him from now. I'd keep an eye on his behaviour with both you and others in the office, and if anything like this happened again then I'd confront him about it.

Flip