I have been married for 12 years now and have 3 children 8, 7 and 5. Neither DH or I have any family by- mine are deceased and his are overseas, so in terms of help and support, I don't have any.
He has always been known for being hot headed, but we have always worked through any problems, mainly for the sake of the kids.
I decided two years ago that I wanted it to be over. I could no longer handle the emotional abuse and went as far as going to a solicitor to take a preventative steps order against him (our youngest was with grandparents in Turkey at the time and I needed reassurance that I would get her back). I felt in control and he spent months begging for us to sort things out. I relented, and we were fine for a while, the odd spat here and there. We had an immense amount of pressure put on us last year when we bought a new house. We spent a lot on fixing things, and unfortunately income was low (we run a coffee shop), so the pressure rose again.
He is always in the frame of mind that my only job is to keep him happy, and he has the rest of the responsibility. He fails to acknowledge that not only do I work 6 days a week, I also have to take care of the children, from getting up in the morning, through to three lots of homework and reading every night, trying to keep them up with where they need to be educationally in school etc. I am not necessarily mentally tired, but I am physically tired, and he fails to see that sometimes I need that release of picking up the phone to my Mum and having a chat, or meeting up etc. I can feel very alone.
His parents arrived to stay with us around 10 days ago. It has been great in the sense that MIL has helped out loads at home so that hasn't been an issue. However, when he is around his parents, he has this nack of belittling me, almost like he is being a spoilt brat around them.
I had worked yesterday and come home to take his mum out for a couple of hours. They arrived home after us and as I opened the door, before I even had chance to open my mouth, he started to mock me saying 'look at the state of you, anyone would think you had worked hard and you're exhausted again'.
That was the start of his rant saying he had had enough of me and wanted it to be over. That he was sick of me being so 'done in' all the time and he deserved to be happy. I then went upstairs and listened to him slating me to his parents for a whole hour, to the point I had to turn the extractor on in the bathroom so I couldn't hear his taunts anymore. I had his mum saying she agreed it should be over, and in that moment, my heart broke when I realised that apart from my kids, I had nobody to protect or defend me. It hurt so much.
I open the coffee shop 6 days whilst he sleeps in until 10am+, but he justifies this by saying he works mentally by seeing how we can take the business forward. In other words, bull. He will call me names and make reference to my past in that my dad was an alcoholic, saying last night that my family had palmed their bitch onto him 
I despise having sex with him because it is all about his satisfaction. Our conversations are made around money and debt and I can't remember the last time he told me he loved me.
I don't want my children to grow up in a house where there is so much anger and hostility, however, I am scared about how I will cope on my own. He has already said he can't look after the kids, and I would be in effect unemployed as I would no longer work in the coffee shop. Whilst I am aware of our money, he has always taken control because I struggle to work out incoming and outgoings and allocating money for things like the overdraft and credit card etc. I am scared I can't cope, but I am more scared that I have realised my marriage is truly over.