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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Solicitors & legal advice help??

25 replies

essbee · 28/05/2004 11:46

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Freckle · 28/05/2004 11:53

When children are involved, I'm afraid that the whole thing is generally done as a package. You can start the divorce off easily enough (and tbh the actual divorce work is relatively cheap). However, you won't be able to complete the divorce proceedings until you have sorted out anything related to the children, i.e. maintenance and residency, etc. Well, you can complete the divorce proceedings earlier, but you then close the door on any financial settlement for yourself. Generally speaking, solicitors will not apply for a decree absolute until the financial settlement and residency stuff is sorted first.

Most solicitors will let you pay in installments, so it might be worth asking your solicitor to organise that for you. Depending on why you are divorcing and what work is involved in sorting the financial side of things, you may be able to ask for costs, i.e. get your ex2b to pay, but you should be aware that what the court orders your ex to pay may not be as much as your solicitor charges you.

Original poster

essbee · 28/05/2004 12:15

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Freckle · 28/05/2004 12:21

I presume you will be divorcing him on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour. The only reason for a divorce to become expensive is if the respondent chooses to defend the petition. If not, the actual divorce part is relatively straightforward and inexpensive. It becomes expensive when the parties start wrangling over money and children.

Do you think he is likely to defend the petition -even out of sheer spite? It would become expensive for both parties and if, at the end of the day, the divorce went through, the cost to him would be pretty high.

Original poster

essbee · 28/05/2004 14:01

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Twinkie · 28/05/2004 14:04

Honey - whatever grounds you give means nothing at the end of the day - divorces are no fault now so nothing he has done will go against him - it is just a way of stating that your marriage has irretrievably broken down.

As for the finacial side of it you can ask for that to all be sorted by the judge if you think he is going to be unreasonable and the rest of the divorce should not cost you much.

Original poster

essbee · 28/05/2004 14:33

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Freckle · 28/05/2004 14:38

How long is a piece of string? Remember that solicitors charge by the amount of time spent. So, the more correspondence and involvement by the solicitor, the more it is going to cost. If you and ex2b can agree the big things, then it is only the little things which need sorting, which should be easy (although you'd be surprised at how many divorces have foundered on who has the budgie rather than who has the house), and costs can be kept to a minimum. If you can agree things between you, then it is just for the judge to ratify the agreement.

However, do NOT agree to something you might regret simply to keep initial costs down. It might cost you more in the long run.

gettingthere · 28/05/2004 14:51

i dont know if this will help, but my (nearly) ex-husband got to pay the costs (adultery in our case). i don't know if this is usual. also i found a solicitor and asked her to do it with as little correspondence and faffing as possible which i am sure saved a lot of cost. we also worked out and agreed most of the finances ourselves - but this could be difficult. other people have said that mediation was good for them and saved some money. good luck essbee

SueW · 28/05/2004 15:20

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Original poster

essbee · 28/05/2004 17:03

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lilibet · 28/05/2004 17:12

sb, mine came to around 2k which was the divorce and a very messy financial settlement, I'm paying it off to my solicitors at £100 per month and it finishes next year. I wasn't entitled to any legal aid, which seeing that I had three children, no savings and was on a salary of less than 13k is bloody pathetic!

But talk to your solicitors and ask can you set a standing order up now for however much you can afford. The sooner you start paying a bit per month the less the final bill will come to.

Chocol8 · 28/05/2004 19:15

Hi Essbee - I wish I had discovered Mumsnet when I started my divorce last year. Our names will be read out in court on 8th June, and 6 weeks and 1 day later - 21st July, I will be old free and single again!

Regarding the costs, my wh (i saw your previous thread!) didn't petition against it, thankfully. We had by then been separated for over 2 years so I think this bought the cost down a bit. I made sure early on that he was going to pay the exact half and this has been put in writing now. I paid £250 up front as a good will gesture (or something), and expect to pay about another £250 when all is said and done. He will pay about £500 too.

It was advised that I should implement a "clean break order" which cost an extra £250, but this apparently means that he cannot come to me asking for money a few years down the line. I can ask him for money as my ds lives with me. That worried him! heh heh heh!

Don't quote me on the costs, but I am pretty sure we should manage it for under a grand.
Good luck Essbee, I wish you a speedy and painless divorce. x

Original poster

essbee · 29/05/2004 11:27

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Original poster

essbee · 29/05/2004 11:30

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aloha · 29/05/2004 11:37

why not ask your solicitors what they estimate the cost to be? And what they think would be the kind of settlement a judge would give you - then ask for a fair bit more than that and 'reluctantly' concede somewhere in the middle so your ah thinks he has 'won' something but actually you have?

BTW, the fair and non-confrontational thing only works, maybe, if BOTH sets of solicitors are playing the same game. We had mild-mannered family law solicitors but my dh's ex had a team of rottweilers who were extremely aggressive and, tbh, I think that was to her advantage, and extremely unpleasant for us.

libb · 29/05/2004 12:31

Essbee, I hope you don't mind but can I ask how you know what legal help you will be entitled to? I am also going through a divorce and, so far, it is very amicable and we're splitting the costs - however I am on stat maternity pay and down to £400 per month. Where do I go to find out if I can qualify for aid?

Sorry (but thankyou) for letting me hijack your thread! I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for you.

Original poster

essbee · 29/05/2004 12:50

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Original poster

essbee · 29/05/2004 12:52

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Chocol8 · 29/05/2004 19:45

Essbee, yes I am definitely having an all female gathering of some sort to celebrate my divorce, although everyone thinks I am a bit bonkers! As it happens, it is just after my birthday so will probably celebrate it all in one.

I like that - New Life Party - mmmm!

It goes without saying - you're all invited. Mid July.

wobblyknicks · 01/06/2004 23:56

Well I'll be there in the office (at the solicitors) in 10.5 hrs!!!! EEKKK!!

wobblyknicks · 01/06/2004 23:58

Bollocks must change names first!!!! i AM ESSBEE!!!! Wobbly is indeed in my house hence she was posting here and I just clicked post!!!!!

Original poster

essbee · 02/06/2004 00:02

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Original poster

essbee · 02/06/2004 00:03

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wobblyknicks · 02/06/2004 00:05

Sorry, that was me posting as essbee but couldn't even get the right thread! (hangs head in shame)

Original poster

essbee · 02/06/2004 11:42

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