Feeling low

[Minime85]

Couldn't put a title together at all. Typed this out late last night then deleted it and here I am again.

My low self esteem and need to have others see me positively is eating away at me. I don't know how to change it and just say sod them I don't care what they think.

This follows break down of my marriage in 2013 where exh left us. And then at work I have had a really difficult couple of years with back stabbing and politics galore in a high pressured job. I just can't do it. I don't want to play games. I was completely manipulated and drawn into it by both sides and ended up being the only one now on the outside and have had awful things said about me which just aren't true. So at work I've gone in on myself and stay away from everyone so I can just get my job done. I'm professional and polite. But I'm even being hauled over the coals for that.

Then at home I am very insecure with new DP and his friends. I don't fit into their lifestyle he had before. I've tried to. It's just not me. And DP recognises that and doesn't expect anything. So when anything with them happens I am left feeling completely deflated and questioning everything about myself.

I need to stop it and try to give myself a good taking to but I just feel so low. All of it makes me so cross with myself that I can't pick myself back up and why do I care so much what others think. In a good, honest, loyal person. I do my job well. I love my family and friends. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you.

Saw your post and couldn't not reply but I will shortly be going out for the day.
Just wanted to say this is a great site with so many lovely people that will soon come along and give you some great advice and most importantly make you feel you are not alone, I promise.
One thing I can add is for years and years I worried about how people looked at me but I think it was down to a not so nice upbringing of people telling me I wasn't enough. Throughout my life I continued to surround myself with the same kinda people. Until one day something changed....maybe an age thing...and believing in me. Lots of self help books and blogs. I have just discovered Amy Young, she is fab! Maybe not for everyone but it has helped me.
Take care of yourself....someone will be along shortly to offer a little more helpful advice x

I can identify with your post alot, I've always been wierd and a bit of an outcast. I just struggle to relate to alot of people and have had various eating disorders and MH issues. I have learnt to accept myself a bit more over time. Not completely there yet tbh, but just trying to adopt the mentality that you can't please everyone all the time, learn to shrug off perceived rejection and concentrate on the people who love and appreciate you for who you are.

I try to remember it takes all sorts to make the world go round, without you some people's lives would be worse. Sorry I haven't got loads of advice as I'm still struggling myself,just wanted to buy!p this for and let you know you are not alone

*bump!

Thanks gemsangel and superhuman that's lovely of you to post. Been on a long walk and trying to tell myself to just get a grip. I'm a well educated woman who runs a busy life with two dcs and balances a lot of plates on a day to day basis. I'm so annoyed at myself that I can't just let these people who make me feel this way just disappear into the background. I will look up who you suggested gems.

Hello Minime85. How was your day?
Amy Young talks alot about relationships that's why it's worked for me but I know she is a life coach too. Like I said her blog isn't for everyone but has helped me. What I was trying to say is self help blogs can really work if you have nobody (like myself) to chat to ☺

Thanks gems. I've settled a little today and we have just relaxed at home. I need to learn that I can't control what others think about me but I can control how I react to it. I know all of this but find it hard to action. Thanks for thinking of me.