First night away with a bloke, nervous.

[Klaptout]

This is our sixth date, we are staying in a rather nice hotel with an fantastic restaurant.
I'm here he will be arriving within the next hour.
I am nervous, I hate being nervous as it sets off my IBS.
He text to say he is nervous as well as excited.

We have a bottle of wine in our room, I'm trying not to drink the lot to steady my nerves, I'm 51 for god sake, tell me about your first night away.
, make me laugh with stories of nerves and any stories of how bad it was, so I at least won't feel crap if it goes wrong.
At least I have matching undies and wine.
It's going to be OK isn't it?

Assumed he had turned up when you stopped posting.
Have a lovely night - he'll be nervous too.

Thanks for all your good wishes and stories.
He came out of the bathroom wearing a teeshirt and boxers.
Not wanting to feel left out I did the same.
There has been loads and loads of kisses and hugs.
He is asleep now, I'm listening to his breathing and reading on MN until I feel sleepy.
I hope Pjs will be removed in the morning!
Thanks for keeping me company earlier, it kept me calm whilst I was waiting.

So pleased he didn't keep you waiting too much longer in the end.

And that you had a lovely meal and lots of affection.

Hope this morning has been great too.

If you feel a bit emotional about anything once you're on the way home then remember that that's totally natural. And if you don't then that's great! As everyone keeps reminding me, there's no right way of dating again after loss, just whatever works for the individuals involved.

Thank you for your messages, I've not been back home long.
It was a lovely place, food was beautiful, excellent company, funny clever attentive and handsome, I was however a nervous wreck.
He reassured me that I was the pace setter.
So We had lots of kissing and hugs and slept huddled up together.

We went for a walk in the grounds of a country house which was nice.
We are planning to meet up again next weekend.
I'm sure it will be ok, there is no rush.
I do fancy him, just something that stops me from going further than kissing.
It's odd this dating after being widowed stuff.
I've had another relationship since being widowed, we were together a while but I didn't want us to live together, too difficult combining houses and kids etc.

He sounds great.

And you're great.

Fab that you're seeing him again soon.

And you're totally right that there's no rush.

P.S. Tell him you'll be a bit less nervous if he's more punctual next time!

He eventually admitted that it wasn't the traffic that made him late, he had to go back in his house twice for the loo due to being nervous.
We may well look back on this and laugh.

Oh bless him.

Even aside from the extra emotions of dating after losing a spouse, my experience is that once you start having sex you often start missing each other more, and long distance becomes harder to cope with. So maybe that was part of your reluctance, having already had a relationship where the practicalities got in the way?

I hadn't thought of the distance thing much, at the moment it means we only meet up at the weekend, he works longish days, when he finishes for the summer he will be off until September, that should give us more time.

50 miles isn't that far anyway, since both of you drive. I've got twice that distance and it's doable.

Was just musing really, not trying to point out a (possible non-existent) hurdle.

We are both parents of young people with disabilities, so sorting out carers and respite needs careful planning.

That does sound tricky logistically.

But also, sounds like you're both very committed and loving parents, which tells you a lot about the other. And hopefully you have lots of shared experience and can, if you want to, offer empathy and a sounding board for each other?

He sounds like a great bloke, Klap.
Kissing and cuddling can be a lot more intimate and meaningful than sex.
I hope it all works out for you.