So my sisters were born from my mums second marriage. A much happier situation for all thsn when I was born 13 years earlier.
Mum is a kind loving woman but when my sisters were born I beane pretty unparented and when a bit off the rails and was pregnant at 16.
I'm now 49 and married with five dc eldest in 30s youngest five. I've done ok really despite life's ups and downs.
Mum never helped a gret deal with my dc because she had her own young family so we were more like mum friends.
By the time I had dd she was more able to be an active granny so did help a bit especially as I was on my own by then but I always felt I had to grovel a bit for any overnight stays and made my own work chindcare arragements as she never offered so I thought she didn't want to which is fair enough.
Five years ago I had my surprise baby dd with my new loveky dh. A year later my sister had her ds and my mum is bloody obsessed with him. Talks about him constantly, looks after him and his brother whine my sister works. They hate unecessary driving but will go out twice a day to take and pick up dn from nursery as its "a long day" this is the same nursery my littke girl attended 8-5 some days (and she's partially deaf) if I need them to pick her up from school which is rare, I have to get someone to walk her to the nursery cos they don't want to walk the five mins to the school to collect her!
Dd doesn't even want to go to them anyway as dn is like a little prince and gets his own way about everything.
Honestly, I could go on but I won't bore you.
I know this is a common problem so I though sharing would be cathartic.