Excellent article about abusive relationships

[Lottapianos]

here

One of the most perceptive pieces I've ever read about abusive, controlling relationships - how to recognise one, why its happening to you, what to do about it. Just a few quotes:

'Minimising his outrageous behaviour with: “all relationships have their ups and downs” will keep you in the shitty relationship you are in.'

'You are being victimised. I’m all for boundaries, but they are futile against a bulldozer.'

'But he’s not doing it because he’s drunk, stressed, insecure, had a terrible cheating ex, is mentally ill, or because his mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby. He’s doing it because he feels he has a right to do it. This is because he has certain beliefs about women which are fully supported by our culture. He’s a misogynist – simple.'

'I still don’t know what love is, but I know it’s not warm and fuzzy feelings – it’s actions, it’s what you do.' Yes yes YES - a thousand times yes to this, and it applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones

Brilliant stuff.

Thanks Lotta, that's one of the best articles I've read on the subject.

It's a terrific article. Recognize so much of my marriage in it. Thanks for posting about it

Brilliant. Thanks so much for posting.

That's a brilliant article, thanks Lotta

Thank you Lottaspianos! My narcissistic husband left a year ago and has been causing the entire family nothing but grief. I'm growing more and more resilient after months of constant fear. I need to be so for my children's sake. This article is clearsighted and well written.

Thanks for posting. This article pretty much confirms that im in an abusive relationship x

Thank you, that is really interesting

I clicked on the women blaming link after this one, It's 19 minutes long but wow, it really hit home for me.

Fantastic. Shared

Confirmed an awful lot for me, helped me to see it wasn't my fault. The 'bulldozer' part especially resonated