Tell me your story after ltb

[MrsBluesky1]

I am in a very long and drawn out process of ltb.

I am very fixated on the 'ideal family' and it breaks my heart to take their father from them everyday (will happily do 50:50 contact if he wanted)

The idea of him moving on and starting a new family makes me feel sick.

YET I don't particularly like him at all or want him near me ever again. So I know I'm being irrational.

So, if anyone's felt similar, how did you overcome the 'idea' to do what's right? Was right? Anyone ever regretted splitting?

Finally acquiring some self respect and determination to make a life that had potential for me and my kids. Looking at him one day and feeling nothing but contempt and then a small seed of determination to get him out of our lives. It took a year to achieve that then another three to get qualified in my chosen career.
Best thing I ever did.

Kicked exh out 4 years ago when pg with dd2. Felt very sad and stigmatised for a while. Started dating again when dd2 was old enough to go to her dad overnight. First seriousish relationship lasted 6 months and was very therapeutic. Very ordinary man and we didn't fall in love but time spent with a kind person who was nice to me a treated me with respect was a revelation. I'm grateful to him though he was no rescuer - just not an arse! This set me up to be really picky after someone made me feel worth it. A year long very happy relationship followed and though we went our seperare ways only happy memories remain. Talking through painful splits with dc helped us both. I met dp 3 years after leaving exh and I'm very happy. We live together. Dds see their dad a night a week and eow. We arnt a nuclear family but we are both good parents. The dds have a secure home with me whether I have a partner or not. I'm not a huge fan of their dad but he shows up and can manage the kids. I get a break.
The kids are happy and have a good life.
Op it's not about the family unit surviving it's about doing your best as a parent. I believe I have done my best.

I think there is a huge middle ground between 'ideal nuclear family' and what you grew up with - 8 children by 4 different fathers. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing what is right as surely you could never be happy staying with this man. You want a good, stable life for your children so I am sure that is what you will give them. Brave of you to move forward and make the hard choice. Try not to doubt yourself.